no more school for the restt of the year!

it's sorttt of hit me that it's winter break already. and that i have college apps to do. fuck.
yesterday and today were good days :) after section meeting today, decided to help out at the tree lot. i met jeff's wife, amy! she's so cool. i like her. i miss the other guys! eric and dave! haha. "they're my guys, i supervise them" heyy, "you and them, you're myyy guys!" lols. am i going back tomorrow? maybee.

busy busy busy winter break. andrew gets back tomorrow!

oh oh. went to the americana with melissa, cathy, and daphnee. aww. ♥ it was sooo beautiful over there! i would post up pictures but..sigh. we used daphne's camera! lols.

anndddd. yeah. :)

excited for break!

cute fun

i loveee helping out at the firefighters' christmas tree lot! not only is working the cash register pretty fun, the firefighters are pretty super cool. haha i've worked 8 hours already! &i'm going back for more next week :) then, officer bonding day afterwards! at maggie's house. it was fun. haha. and interesting.

only one more week 'til winter breakk! ♥

I'm The Girl. You're The Boy. You Text Me First Or We Don't Talk Today.

Cuuuuuuuuuute!

cold cold cold COLD!

shit, it's COLD.

i'm making christmas "gift cards" for everybody. talk about a time-suck. also had the SAT on saturday. talk about a way to screw myself over. i have the ACT this saturday. talk about FML. winter break in a week and a half. YES. &my blogs are becoming shorter and shorter. i've just been too lazy to blog. haha. and i will never go to tumblr. idk, there's just something that i really like about blogger and something that i really don't like about tumblr. more people should get a blogspot :)

oh. anna got me a webcam for my birthdayy! yeee! i webcammed like crazy last week, haha! oh and i am reconnecting with elementary school buddies! how fun is that, lolss. anyways, revise essay and i'll save the other hw for tomorrow. :)

i'm TIRED.


oh, and i know that everything is completelyy over. like, on BOTH sides. but still, he's a cutie! MIKE, YOU'RE A CUTIE, LOL. ass. hahaha! not really but sort of! i'd be completely amazed if you were actually reading this now. lawl.

anyway. he (not mike) makes my heart go boom boom pow :) hahaha when i said "kara, you make my heart go boom boom pow" in a really terrible british/english accent, she just crackedd up! hehe.

OOHHH. I'M GONNA MAKE A SHIRT OUT OF THAT!

oh. and i am completelyyy excited for a PHOTOSHOOT that MACK is doing! ♥

he makes my heart go boom boom pow.

fail. the word that defines today. and the rest of senior year. especially fbla.

he's cute. :)

went "black friday" shopping yesterday with my cousin. it was more normal shopping though--the things i got were just generally cheap. lols. let's see, i got some victoria's secret underwear--which i really wished that i had gone to gilly hicks instead because their stuff is more my style--, BOOTS, gilly hicks pj shorts, oh! perfume from VS also, lols. i got the "stocking stuffer" cause i just want to test it out and stuff.

aren't the boots cuuute? i got it at cali for $29. then when i went to urban street, it was $40! hell yesss!

jeez, we only got there at 7:30 and left around 12. i was exhuasteddd. lolss. cause i was talking to sam until like..4 AM and woke up at 6 to shower. got back, and totally KTFO.

up until today, i've been lagging personal statements. T.T. until amyy came today and whipped me into shape! haha not really. she helped me with the speech i'm gonna do for W&M and then started helping me on my ps. thenn, since i wanted to chill with cody today, when he offered to help me with my PS, i told him to come over, too. amy left a little after cody left but i GOT IT DONE. like, i already had UC #2 prompt done so i really just needed my first essay.

today feels like sunday. thank god it's not.

GHS '10 boys..-_______-

WOW. ridiculous. grow the fuck up.

I am 17.

and i actually FEEL 17! maybe it's because this time, i can actually use my age for something. haha. like watching rated r movies! hehe.

i got my phone taken away in the morning. sigh. it was such a...painful experience ); NOO, MY PHONE! but i got it back, of course. english teacher saw me out with it and i told her it was cause my mom was texting me. she took it anyway. and then she actually called my mom to see if she was actually texting me. wow. -______-.

spent a lot of time with tiffany hung! hehehe. i miss her! we talked a lottt. and apparently, i have the pretty-slutty look. and bitch-intimidating look. like, when my face is neutral or i'm just not doing anything. ayee.

after school, saw nicole hsu and maggiee! finally got my phone back and was bamboozled (correct usage of word? dunno. who cares. hehe) with a bunch of happy birthday text messages. haha (: and about 100+ facebook emails that people have written on my walls. many from people whom i don't speak to anymore but it's nice that they still wished me happy birthday!

stupid bitch, anna was absent today ):

and maggie's birthday card..SOOO CUTEE. i love it♥ i wouldn't trade it for anything! haha. ILHER. then then. dinner at wood ranch! HEHE THE WAITER DANIEL WAS SO FUCKING CUTEE! omg. i think i was high off the fact that patty and jessica and maggie and nicole were all there for my birthday that i was like flirting with him. hahah. omg. he's soooo cute. when they told him it was my birthday towards the end of dinner, they were like "you should sing for her!" and he was like "i'll sing and dance!" or something. and then when he was clearing our table, he said something like "i've got moves" and i was sitting all the way on the inside and i was like "and we'd like to see them" HAHAHA, OH MYY ♥. seriously. soooo cute. sigh. i love wood ranch! hehe. oh and nicole and maggie got me the cuuttesttt gift, ever! it's the donettes and kitkat bar and the wonder sandwich case! THEY ALL MAKE PERFECT SENSE. i lovee them! hehe. i had a lottt of laughs that night ♥

got back like around 9:30ish. talked to linxi while leaving from wood ranch. and talked to sam later at night. and i responded to all my facebook birthday wishes. damn, that took a long time! haha. i absolutely love how so many of the section officers wished me happy birthday ♥ hehe.

the day started out bittersweet. because i didn't think i was actually doing to do anything for my birthday but i did! today is CHRISEL'S BIRTHDAYY. she's such a sweetie! hehe.

oh, and supposedly a lot of facebook shit went down between fbla gab & troy girls. jeez. haha. i missed the "show" but that's okay.

i really miss my birthday.

LDI, OH MYY.

LDI SOUTHH! hehe, it was FUN. got there friday night but THE BUS LEFT US D; so we couldn't go to BJ's for chapter dinner! we went to Harvard Place instead--i just bought junk food and ate that for dinner. rofl. when we got back, we settled in for a bit and ate, then me and maggie went to go help with registration stuff. we got back, and nicole and cecilia weren't there! haha. they went to the pool and stuff and we went down to them. but ohh my, WE HAD FUN IN THE HOTELL ROOOMM! hahahaha. we played the burping game, ahh ferlisha's game lives on! speaking of. i must go to dinner with her soon.

anyways. friday night was superrr fun. esp since CATHY MAK VISTED ♥ saturday morning, i was all excited to be reunited with section officers! yayy! hehe! i missed everyone! and we all looked so fucking dope in our section officer uniformss, esp when we took a group picture! hehe. how pro. went to workshops and then MY workshop. jeez. hahaha. i was a little unprepared but i'd say that the attendees had fun when i messed with people's pictures. RAYMOND LEE SAID THE WORKSHOP WORKED! hahah. so GOOD. hehe. and then i went to alex's art of body language workshop..LOL. it was good. esp the whole him and brian trinh's preening. rofl. funny shit. and a little hot? LOL. hehe.

omg..I WANT ME AN A457 SANDWICH! HAHA. (;

the day went on and ended up having dinner with the roommates + samuel at corner's bakery. we introduced him to the burping game. and a few others. ahaha. i was like "WE SHOULD INTRO IT TO THE SECTION OFFICERS, GET A GAME GOING ON!" hahah ohh man.

grand prix was okay! didn't go to the salsa dancing but i went to the MOD one after. they wouldn't turn off the lights, they kept turning it off and on, off and on. they finally learned how to further dim the lights and yeah. i dancedd a bit all around..MEANING, i danced with gab peoples and section officers. it was some cute fun!

at night..oh man. hahah. i was soo exhausted! oh oh, CATHY MAK, MELISSA CAO, AND KAREN THAI VISISTEDD! HEHE! i miss those girls! before cathy came, i was like.. first conference without melissa and cathy! but then after they all visited saturday night, i realized that if they just visit again at state (since it's in irvine, again) THEN THERE WILL HAVE NEVER BEEN A CONFERENCE WITHOUT THEM! hehe. then later at night, was talking to samuel on the phone, i fell asleep a couple times on him. and supposedly, i say funny shit when i start to fall asleep. rofl! hahah.

sunday..closing session! aw ); actually, i think thatt was when we took the section officer photo. yup. good food. say goodbyes ): haha not really but yeah. i miss everyone already! anyways, our chapter ended LDI on a..weird note. but yeah..

chill

i'm sorry, she may be my friend but the other one is not. they are both pathetic for doing what they did -.- and they have the balls to talk smack! -_____- slutslut!

today, i got green butcher paper for a "green screen" for my LDI workshop. i am slightly excited. haha. i just tried it out and it was soo much easier to create and ipod silhouette! hehe. yup, that's me! a super photoshopped version, that is. because i am not that skinny. i wish i was! haha. i didn't add an "iwhatever" thing to it, though.

LDI is only in 3 days! holy crap! i'm so excited (8

let's fall asleep & never wake up

I just realized that I don't blog as frequently anymore. I think I just get lazy. lawlz.

today wasn't a good day. our FBLA membership meeting for american enterprise day went fine but eesh, she totally ripped into me today. I get that I am supposed to be a leader and I should be more responsible than I am right now and that I should take whatever she throws at me and just deal with it. but I can't help it, it doesn't even feel like constructive criticism. she acts too much like a mother sometimes because the stuff that comes out of her mouth feels like scolding--and that, in turn, makes me feel like crap. what can i say? i'm a super sensitive girl! (but i can be tough, too!)

i really don't believe in myself. and it kind of hurts that i don't believe in myself. wow, that sounds so ridiculous.

i had an interview for Syracuse U this week. i felt that it started off badly but it picked up towards the end. my dad was doing something completely and utterly stupid to me while driving me to the SU LA office. yelling at me. jeez, great way to keep me calm and relaxed for my COLLEGE interview! bad parenting skills right there. -________-

today is To Write Love On Her Arms day, and i wrote love on only myy arm. haha. as you can tell (:

i'm feeling really shitty right now. going to sleep it away.

Thank You.

every single instance where i am excluded, ignored, looked over, underestimated, not given a second look..it's like a punch in the gut.

it's never me. i'm never The Girl. i'm barely The Friend. i'm just..there. who happens to talk and share personal stories a lot. there isn't something i want to just be.

i'm not beautiful. i'm not hot. i'm not cute. i may have my moments just like every other person out there, but. i'm just Not. am i insecure? sure. am i confident? i can be; i have those moments as well.

when 8th grade ended, i was glad to be entering a new district with new people. i wanted a fresh start. i wanted to start over. i could have been anybody i wanted to be and nobody would have ever known. except, now i realize that i wasn't mature enough to have started over. i wasn't in tact with myself in order to actually change it. but now that high school is ending. well, hopefully i get to attend an OOS school where i can rid myself of EVERYTHING that high school came with. that includes the drama. and the people.

early in the 2009 year, i didn't want to live. i didn't care about all the people around who supposedly loved and care for me. i wasn't being a coward because i felt that life was too hard to live. i simply just didn't care. i became apathetic towards life. and i felt i was just wasting my time living it. that's why i didn't care to live any longer.

right now, i am having similar feelings about high school. all those people who supposedly love me and care for me..who am i kidding? not enough has been proven/shown to me to alter my perspective at the moment.

to all of my friends, thank you for not trying. thank you for excluding me from events that i eventually find out about. thank you for not making me a part of your life by withholding personal information. thank you for being my friend. thank you for preventing me from being your friend. from being a true friend.

thank you for allowing me to feel this way.

thank you for the Nothing you have given me.

dance, dance

homecoming dance...was okay. the music sucked. i think homecoming was only truly fun for me sophomore year. haha. anyways. when alex and i went to go take pictures, it was the same guy from senior portraits, he remembered my name! lol. we dancedd. and dancedd. alex was sick so we a took breaks. it was so cold outside! then like at ten, we left to go eat with kenny, simon, thomas, raymond, sally, harmon, and monet at noodle world. it was funn. but totally f me cause my dad was like "you can't go anywhere after the dance" and like i got a text from my dad "in the parking lot" i was like WHATTHESHIT. i told my mom 12! -________- sigh. so yeah, i barely checked my phone 15 minutes after he texted me. so i was totally panicking on the way back. i just told my dad that i was helping with the clean up, haha. so. that was my last homecoming. siiiigh.

♔♚♛♕♛♚♔

today was seniors' day! the senior class council did a pretty great job of decorating the quad & senior quad!
damn, just look at that burger! haha. and here's what i wore for seniors'/theme day! ;)
don't you lovee it? haha. made it myself. i wonder if could sell these..? hm. lols. anyways. today's senior say what performances were pretty epic. best say what, ever! it was such a GREAT line up! i'm uploading videos to youtube as we speak. tomorrow's class color day and the say what finalss. i'm excited haha. then homecoming dance. this week is almost coming to a close. sigh. last homecoming week! anyways. i'm so tired.

West Coast Friendship

today was a semi-good day. i don't know how to describe it, really. i guess...average? yeah.

sophomores' Say What Karaoke today. it was so lame. haha. the Wonder Boys were cute. i recorded them on my nano :) i'll post it later. but dude. every single time i'm sitting out in the quad, watching Say What, this always happens to me. haha. that's a close up of my bra strap tan, hahaha. isn't it kind of gross? ♥

also got senior class shirts and our CROWNSSS. i want to mail mine to karen thai so she can make it be-you-tifulll (: tehee. haha. maybe i'll just ask her to design something on paper for me, and then i'll try to copy it myself, loll.

tonight, i'm gonna make and expos board for englishh class. just like old times.

it's the last homecoming week i'll ever experience. let it be a blastt.

♫ I bought a one-way ticket, cause I knew I'd never see the ground unless I aboard a jet plane.

i don't even know who you are

happy halloween, kiddies.

started my day off by waking up super early to do my LDI worksop, ayee. haha. wasn't that bad, i actually have it pretty easy since my workshop is mostly live demonstration. thenn, section meeting at 10 AM! ahh, i missed them! haha :)

afterwards, went shoppingg! at appalet. with the mother. haha. she loves that store. got two new dresses. one casual. and one "pro." haha. so says anna. very "prez" of me. hehe.

i don't know if i want to go to the homecoming dance. "a saturated night fever." really? loll. but yeah. no date. and i don't have the energy to ask anyone anymore. because frankly, i just don't have the energy to decide who to ask. there are two contenders atm. i can't decide. and idk about going to san gabriel's dance. i would lovee to be there to see justin and patty as homecoming king and queen and as dates! how cut-three is that. haha. but alas, i am still not sure.

it was a nicee halloween. was gonna do something with cecilia but she had to take her lil bro and his friends trick or treating. so i went to the movies with kevin, leon, and ken. we watched zombieland. it's actually not stupid funny as i thought it was. but it was still kind of gory T.T i actually wanted to puke! nasty. Columbus reminded me of mike, lol. they kind of look a like, no? i barely noticed that when Columbus and Wichita were about to kiss, LOL. ironic? maybe. rofl. haha. CARDIO! DOUBLE TAP!

but yeah. it was nice hanging out with just guys for once. my parents don't know it, of course. i made it look like i was going out with my cousin instead, hehe. she just picked me up and dropped me off at kevin's house. oh, oh. when i was buying the ticket, i made sure i got the guy instead of the girl. totally didn't get carded (; what can i say? i'm a Woman.

sometimes, i wonder

that it actually happened to a girl like me. i think back on it and i can't believe that something exciting and new and fun yet totally with it's downsides, as well, happened to me. sometimes, i wonder what it would've been like had nothing happened. had nothing progressed.

i wonder too much.

and i make big deals out nothing too much.

-

the social/fundraiser was fun! originally, i wasn't planning on participating in the photo scavenger hunt cause i'm just lazy like that but oliver roped me into their group. i just told them what to do and took the photos hahah. well. we did win :) tehee. made some new friends from alhambra! that was cool. stayed until 8 after the social ended at 6 with monica and kris. cecilia came at like..7? don't remember. but afterwards, went to get some soliddd food with cecilia at wendy's! they have yummy french fries :D haha. then home. uploaded hilarious photos and videos from the scavenger hunt. and watched more grey's anatomy :)

I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY! that show is the freaking bomb! haha. i am currently watching season 2 online, tehee.

my day

7:43 AM.

that was the time when i woke up.


7:43 AM

that was the time when i freaked the shit out and jumped out of bed to quickly get ready.


8:00 AM

that was the time when i left the house


8:00 AM

that was the time when i was supposed to report to Arcadia HS for the ACT exam


8:12 AM

that was the time we got to Arcadia HS but couldn't find the "main entrance" and spent the next 8 minutes circling around that damned campus trying to find it.


8:18 AM

that was the time when we stopped and asked a girl where the ACT was taking place. she pointed across a parking lot and said it was in the classrooms. my dad didn't let me out, said "DON'T RUSH! DON'T RUSH! THAT'S TOO MUCH WALKING FOR YOU." he was pissing me off.


8:20 AM

that was the time when i finally get out of that fucking car and into Arcadia HS.


8:30 AM

that was the time when i finally located my room. also, when the freaking proctor wouldn't allow me to take the test because they had started already. i looked inside, they had only started filling out the bubbles. what the shit. unless i was mistaken. but i don't think so. -_________-


8:55 AM

that was the time when i finally decided to call my parents to pick me up. i cried from frustration and anger for the previous 25 minutes.


9:30 AM

that was the time when my parents actually got here. I waited 35 fucking minutes. it shouldn't have taken that long.


1PM

that is the time that i should have been picked up from Arcadia HS had i been able to take the fucking test

2:20 PM

that was the time when i decided that i just wasn't in the mood to go see Paranormal Activity. let alone in the mood to do anything else.


2:20 PM

that was the time when i officially declared my day ruined.


3:30 PM

that was the time when i decided to sleep away the day.


6:30 PM

that was the time when i woke up from my nap, kind of..hurt? from the way he was such a jerk in my dream. even though it's just a dream. still kind of affects me. sigh.



&that was my day.


just a note on Paranormal Activity, i don't know if it was my bad morning or something but now i really don't care for the movie. like, i don't want to watch it cause i'm afraid to, i just don't care for it anymore. sigh.

IPOD! :D

oh! so, on tuesday, i was just watching one tree hill yesterday--which, btw, quin doesn't act very well. she's very annoying. i hate watching scenes that involve her. so yeah. i'm just catching up on my shows when my dad comes home and BAM! pulls out a little white box out of his pocket and was like "here is your ipod" and i was like no fucking way! i literally took it out of his hand and ran upstairs to open it. omfg. it is SO cool. the thing has fucking speakers! so you don't need earphones to listen to it! oh, and it's the video nano :) teheee. hahah. but yeah. it's pretty dope.

yesterday, i was so tired that i knocked out at 8:45 PM! that's the EARLIEST i have EVER slept! and i am actually counting this as the time i went to sleep cause even though i did wake up a few hours later, i just went back to sleep. though i couldn't bring myself to wake up again at 5:30 to run in the morning T.T so i just ran today after school, haha.

NO PARANORMAL ACTIVITY TODAY ): lawl. me and cecilia are just going to watch it this weekend--since it IS a three day weekend. yes! haha. talking with the chius today, i realize that i am seriously going to be SHIT SCARED while watching it. like. fuckk, dude! oh and omg. i even had a dream about it last night. woah. haha. yeah ): but i got this. i really want the experience of paranormal activity. i just haveeee to have it, haha.

i wonder if you ever read this? probably not. actually, i WOULD know if you had cause..i have this sitemeter thing on here, lol. but like..sigh! idk! am i crazy? needy? RIDICULOUS (you're favorite word, loll)? to want to keep in touch? to stay FRIENDS? so hopefully, MAYBE, if i get accepted into w&m, i won't be totally alone in va? slim chance. but it's nice to imagine. and regardless of you, i actually really do love w&m. i don't like how i'm another notch on your belt of girls who you don't talk to. that just rings of a suckiness to it, doesn't it? even the fact that a belt of such exists in your closet is kinda sad. am i getting too metaphorical? lawl. hope life is treating you well, buddy.



♫ i spend my time just thinkin', thinkin', thinkin' 'bout you. every single day, yes, i'm really missin', missin' you

time to DESTRESS

ahhh, at least a little ♥
sunday, kevin didn't want to do dim sum, so we didn't. we scheduled for 9, then 10, then 10:15, and then finally met up at my house at 11. haha. it was such an unproductive day. the only thing we accomplished was figure out what our team name would be, rofl. and zach couldn't be there! aye. haha. it's cool, though. we had fun, anyways haha. stupid phat kept falling asleep ahaha. so today, we finally turned in our stock market project and i feel like a weight has just been lifted off my shoulders! i feel really great in terms of stress right now. and today's trig test was freaking pie. i finished that shit in 2 seconds. more like 5 minutes but you get the hyperbole. haha.

but on sunday, me and amanda, we went to go watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. holy shit. i was so scared right before. it was ughh though. cause the stupid lady didn't let us in -_____-. even though amanda's mom was there to say it was okay for us to watch it, she said we can't go in. so we changed our tickets and waited for jhaimy to come. and when she did, it was a different girl who DIDN'T check IDs -_____- even though jhaimy would've been fine because she is 17 but still. that's whack. i'm still 16 and amanda didn't have her ID on her and it was ugh. we tried to sneak it but once we did, they actually came in and told us we had to leave. it was totally the highlight of their day. lamefucks.

i don't know why but i REALLY want to watch it. i know i'm gonna get shit scared but like..i don't know! it's weird! sometimes, i'll want do something that i usually really hate or like the actual experience terrifies the hell out of me. like going on rollercoasters. i HATE them. but when i was at universal studios with linxi and them, i was like "LINXI LET'S GO ON JURASSIC PARK" and stuff. and noww. "LET'S GO WATCH PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!!" but yeah. i think i'm gonna try to go watch it with cecilia tomorrow at the renaissance. she has free tickets. tehee ♥ hahah. but i'm still really scared. i wish it was a GROUP of us going so afterwards, we won't seem so..alone. or if my brother just took me to watch it, i'd be okay with that, too.

and i don't know why either but..i just know that i always feel this need for male companionship. and it's not me being boy crazy. this goes with my brothers and my cousins, too. i just love hanging out with boys! like i would be totally fine if my brother took me to a movie instead of a guy friend or a girl friend. just cause i like hanging out with my brothers and/or my guy cousins. then i'm always trying to make good friends out of guys cause..i guess that's just me. i need male companionship. maybe it's because i've been hanging out with andrew for the majority of my life and now that he's gone, there's this void? i don't know. i do miss him, though! because i never hung out with my sister as much, it was always me with my brothers. i guess i'm just used to it and i need it in order to feel like myself again...? aye. idk. it's weirdd.

anyways, off to go watch House and eat some MEATBALLSSS, yum ♥

yerds? maybe not. but still fun!

YEARBOOK! was fun :) lol. so alex took me, leslie, kathleen, and joseph to walnut hs and man, what a longgg day. i fell alseep during both lectures d: haha. but spending time with our group was fun! dude, ms ross is so funny hahahha. she's too eccentric for words, rofl. anyways, yeahh. we got a lot of stuff done today? mmm. started at 9 AM and MAN, i ate a LOT. like. wow. haha. i totally have to run it off ): anyways. that's it, really. while we were waiting, we just took pictures with leslie's mac, lol.

today was so ♨!

(hot) seriously. so hot today! wth!

-

i want the new ipod nano. this morning, i told my dad about getting an R4 from a friend for only $30 and my dad's like..maybe you should just sell the DS and use the money for the ipod. i'm like YES! FINALLY! last time i asked him to sell it, he said no -.- but then today after school, he was like..don't sell it. -___________-

when i got home, i watched Grey's Anatomy and shit, that series gets better and better each episode! "You think you can pray away the gay?" ... "YOU CAN'T PRAY AWAY THE GAY!" Cali was sooo good! and i LOVE Arizona's anecdotes! "I wasn't named after the state, but after a battleship" tehee, i smiled at myself cause i actually know what she's talking about, the bombing of pearl harbor! "the USS Arizona, my grandfather saved 19 men before he drowned...I am a strong man in a storm" or something. she was talking to Cali's dad about accepting her homosexuality. damn, Arizona is so wise. seriously. Grey's Anatomy♥♥♥

today, i had an epiphany. well, not really. looking at w&m site, i think i'm going to submit an additional piece of "artwork." so, i can like record myself doing a speech and send it to them! i would do my last year's OI but i'd have to like seriouslyyy practice. i'm gonna try to get amy to coach me hahaha.

and i have to say. i think the bbq burgers got better this year! really, they're pretty damned good! i wanted to eat a second one, today. haha.

aye. so much to say. so little energy. bye!

shake that. move that. shake that.

it was sunny today ): well, in the afternoon it was, at least lol.

yesterday, i completely forgot about a school site council meeting. COMPLETELY. well, i guess i wasss sick :) and i did crash at 5pm. ayee. i need to set up a student forum meeting soon.

i'm going to this design clinic at walnut hs on saturday for yearbook. i hope it helps! and i hope it's fun! haha.

&this is pretty much a random post. but i've decided. i'm going to try to post a photo for each a blog :) I just really like the necklace i'm wearing! and the v-neck tshirt, haha. i especially love how it's ring--and it actually fits, btw. and i lovee the locket! though, i'm too lazy to try to put anything in there, haha.

i was supposed to go to senior poster painting today after school but i was just so tiredd. i exhaust so easily. did i use that word correctly? lols.

that's itt.

♫ I love just who you are, I ain't gon try to change it. You are a shooting star, thats why you are my favorite.

today was ☁y; didn't require an ☂ :)

hehe i loved today! it was such a senior-year-ish day :)

first, LATE START for school! second, didn't even go to school hahah. woke up a bit early to do homework, headed over to kevin chet's and stupid anna wasn't picking up her phone -_____- she was supposedd to meet at my house by 9! but she wanted to sleep in. i told her too bad and that she had to go to breakfast with meee. haha. so kevin and i just picked her up and went to denny's. anna and i ate separately while kevin ate with some other kids. man, there we quite a few ghs kids there haha. but it was funn. man, i ate so much. hahah.

tehee. kevin was all, let's go to starbuck's first. and we're like okay but we wanted to stay in the car, so he left the keys in so we could listen to the music. but then we got bored. took the keys out and just left hahahahah. first we went into the shoe store but there was like..nothing there! then saw kara, tanya, and some other people so we went back out and into the..beauty store? rofl. and then i saw kevin outside all "wtfff?" HAHA. omg. that was so funny. and the ride to the library was funny, too. kevin: he's like a second father to me. me: he can be my daddy! LOLOLOL! hahahaha. oh my, that was so good ;D

anyways, he dropped us off at the sg library and it's pretty nice! i have to say, i like it better than the rosemead one. it's also much quieter haha. andd. there's a cute guy who works there ;D dude, it was so funny. cause he kept looking over to me and anna and like.. :DD he's cuute! and okay, so they have these reallyy comfortable chairs--the ones where like it's a piece of cloth over metal bars or whatever. and when sat there for the longest time and he was just behind us putting books away and like, we were giggling so much hahah. and then and then. he has to put books in FRONT of me and..LOL. this was my view for like 20 seconds ;) HAHAHA. i swear. once i took the picture, i just started giggling like mad. he was just ASKING for me to take it! come on. hahahah. ohh my. he's a cutie (;

then patrick just picked me and anna up once he got out of 5th period. i totally forgot that he drove. he drives a freaking mini van HAHAHA. went to jambaa and i got a strawberry whirl with mangos in it :) mangos, strawberries, &bananas! ♥ really, so good! and dude, patrick sucks at driving lawls.

for a day of unproductiviteness, i was awfully tired when i got home. crashed from 5-9. now i have make up homework to do. and idk. for some reason. i'm just feeling so. frustrated? i really want to get into william & mary. and even though i tell people and myself that i feel i can get into syracause, i'm really not so sure. seriously. i'm so paranoid that i'm not going to get into anywhere. even the cal states -____- sigh. i'm just feeling so jumbled up right now asdfgasdfgfdsfdfg. i really need some security =/

and really. wth. can't we be friends? must you not talk to me? i know i get too attached sometimes. or i just talk too much. but. aye. this is so pointless. i can't delete you. i probably need to cause i can't seem to shut up to you--even when you completely ignore me. and stupid anna is too supportive when i hesitate to text you or anything. and honestly. i don't want to be added to that list of girls who you don't talk to anymore. sometimes i wonder if you ever wish that you had never gotten involved with me. like. if you regret it. like "damn, this chick is causing so much drama, should've kept my mouth shut..." T.T

fuck my life, i hate thinking so much.

♫ cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, i just didn't know what to say.

such dreary weather

& i LOVE it!

-

today was both a good and bad day. had to do an oral presentation for our ORBs in english today, i went first. and i think i did pretty well! we all had to dress up as the protagonist and mine was a guy -.- haha. but it's okay cause i just wore my brother's dress shirt. got a 5! woo! haha. OH. but dude. so because i turned in an essay late (i did not know it was due, i swear!), i only got HALF credit for the 5- that i got! UGH! makes me even more pissed at myself! but that is the reason why i chose that essay for the half credit one. haha. aye. instead of an at least 90/100, i'm only getting like..45/100 T.T

and i had my senior conference today with my counselor. jeez. every time i talk to her, i feel so down. i'm not going to get into any of the privates i'm applying to, am i? then she says "well, angela, you have to think realistically..." i'm like "..." SIGHH. am i too hopeful? i really believe i can get into syracuse, even with my stats..i think my personal statement will be pretty good. so will my teacher recommendations. haha i hope so at leastt.

i love my econ group! haha. we're going to work on our stock market project on sunday. well. work & play ;) haha.

and TOMORROW. late start! thank you ghs for having the PSAT!

oh, and i finally got my AA jacket yesterday. it is NOT mermaid green! it's more like a rich turquoise.

but anywhos. off to do college apps.

can it please rain already?

Sorry for being an ass today. I don't think before I do/say sometimes. Nor do I know how to shut up. &then I just make a big deal out of things because I don't like it when there's tension. But it got me thinking (and since I always think a lot, it is pretty bad for me, too). I hope we can be cool? I don't like losing friends.

-

Dear M.,

I vagina you.
You have a nice vagina.
You make me vagina.
You should vagina.
Someday I will vagina.
You + me = vagina.
If I saw you now, I'd vagina.
I want to vagina you.
I would build a vagina just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be vagina.
We could vagina under the stars.

Sincerely,
vagina

(P.S. vagiiiiiiiiiiina.)


Are you laughing by now? How about smiling in amusement? It just doesn't have the same ring to it like with the word penis, does it. haha. That's why I didn't post this on your wall in the first place.

But had I not begun to feel insulted a9and thus vindictive in response to yours), this is what I probably would have said to you:

Dear M.,

I will always like you [enough to be friends].
You have a nice boyish charm.
You make me happy, excited, angry, upset.
You should try to get to know me, like forreals.
Someday I will visit you in VA.
You + me = a definitely interesting summer.
If I saw you now, I'd hug you.
I want to know more about you.
I would build a calculator just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Love Game by Lady Gaga even though you hate it.
We could talk about baseball (uh, I know a thing or two :) & books under the stars.

Sincerely,
Angela

(P.S. I didn't find your version of this to me very funny.)


Why is this a blog? 'Cause this is more of me needing to let everything out, say what I need to and all that jazz, more than actually telling you. But you might as well know?



xoxo.

OH, MYY ♥

today was...a surprisingly good day! got about 5 hours of sleep and dad made me french toast out of hamburger buns haha. which, actually, tastes pretty damned good. better than regular sandwich bread i'd say. and damn. that breakfast made ALL the difference. i didn't feel drowsy at all during the test. and damn. that test was EASY. i liked the essay topic. and i applied what i learned from school in it. hahah. not really. just Siddhartha. andd, i was able to answer almost all of them! hopefully i got most of them right d: really. i want to break at leasttt 1900. sigh, i can't wait for the scores to come out! then, i just have to take the ACT. i think i used up all my fee waivers for the SAT so if my score isn't completely satisfying, then i'm just going to have to study my ass off for the ACT. cause honestly, i didn't study as much as i said i would for the SAT. and i still have a WHOLEE SAT prep book! i would like to utilize it. so actually. maybe i WILL take the SAT again. we'll see.

after my dad picked me up from blair hs OH WAIT! dude. omfg. i actually miss testing at san marino high school! i like the whole waiting in a crowd for the people to post up posters about who goes to which room. there's just this air of..speechness? maybe that's why. cause it's kind of like waiting for postings. and really, i just like how smhs runs the SAT. blair hs is so -________- well, there's a reason why smhs is such a good school. lol. that's kind of mean for blair but seriously! our class didn't start till like..8:45! wth! and the proctor..oh my god -__- at first she just walked in, checked us all in AGAIN (we had to be checked in in order to find out which classroom we were in), and didn't say a word after that. and then she actually wrote on the white board with a Crayola washable marker -_____- then she tried another one but wow, could she not tell that it wasn't a dry erase marker? seriously! oh and lawl. at 8:30, this guy comes running saying "is it too late to take the SAT?!" all panting and stuff. kind of funny. then the proctor's cool with it but when she asked for his ticket, he said he left in the car. fail. hahah. & the proctor was such a fail at being a proctor, too. she didn't pay attention to us during the test at all. she just sat there reading. which i can understand cause i wouldn't want to spend my saturday morning doing that but you get paid to do it! this one girl was totally working on her essay when she wasn't supposed to.

but yeah. the SAT was pretty alright. oh, and i met this girl, Arjelly/Argelly. haha. she's pretty cooool. she goes to pasadena hs. maybe i'll facebook her. maybe not. lols. oh! so. onward.

dad picked me up and got In N Out! ♥ and wow, the drive thru line was so long and i saw ELTON WONG. i haven't seen that boy since hillcrest! so, 5 years! haha. it was pretty cool. then got home, watched 90210 which was actually pretty boring. took a nap. then. watched GREY'S ANATOMY, OH MYY ♥ ;)

it was such a GREAT episode! like. it was sooo touching! omfg. i loved it. Grey's Anatomy really is a great program. but i've said so much already. haha. i should gooo.

forest green is my color, apparently :)

haha. (:

-

today was fun! i think a got a bit owned by today's Siddartha exam but whatever haha. i liked 4th period, i loveee my little pencil man cartoon! haha. we're making quote posters; my quote is "morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace" by oscar wilde (: &i really enjoyed yearbook! the period was just so...'lax! and i have to say. i do like photography. the feeling after taking a good photo? incrediblee. then went home after 5th, had some stuff to do.

then. driving lessons! :D dude, i'm so scared to actually drive on the major streets with other cars o_o. i don't know if my nerves and anxiety can take it. haha.

&i totally brought my SAT prep book with me everywheree. well. to school and then to shakey's hahaha. yeah, andrew wee and maggie came over, chilled for a bit, then kara picked us up for ka lei's shakey fundraiser. man, it was CROWDED. but funn! took sooo many pictures! hahah. dude, took forever for me and kara to get a nice jumping picture -.- rofl, good exercise though? haha. yeah. didn't do much studying, just skimmed over some root words and that's it. got to talk to nicole hsu for a bit! damn, i haven't talked to that girl in a while. it's okay. we'll catch up at LDI (:

speaking of! today, trip slips were passed out! and so was fundraising candy. 50 copies of trip slips were made. ALL gone by the end of lunch! holy crap! jason says they were mostly new members but honestly, we might have to cut members if we actually have that many who are definitely sure of going. andrade can't chaperone this time because he has some things to do so la c is looking for another chaperone--and that's going to be difficult already. and we need one chaperone for every 15 students..so at most, we can only take 30? we'll see. but LDI is going to be funn. rooming with nicole hsu, maggie, and cecilia! tehee.

this year is going to be THE YEAR.

and omfg. SAT TOMORROW.

what the shit

okay before, i wasn't pissed at all. i understood it and i was just not mad. but then. now thinking back on it, that one action changed a shitload of crap. right now, i still wouldn't be pissed. but after another action. now i am. i am really, really pissed. what the shit. thanks a lot. you made my life a whole lot messier.

PUBLIC INDECENCY

really? seriously? come on. get it together. no one wants to see that! you've got curves, sure. or rather, you've got..a curve. you gotta work around it and dress appropriately.

-

woke up late today. again. -_________- so i figured that and absent was less harmful than another tardy for english class. plus, i didn't finish my homework -___-

and i actually brought my SAT prep book with me today hahaha. gg right? haha stupid kevin, amanda, and mr carney were making fun of me during econ when i pulled it out. I WILL GO THROUGH THE WHOLE BOOK BY THIS FRIDAY NIGHT. rofl. probably not. but i can sure as hell try!

went to the just dance auditions. um. it was okay. actually, i don't know if i will continue with it for the rest of the year. i would really like to because i loveee dancing and i need something to keep me in shape! but idk. we'll see!

off to study moree.

"I'm done."

omg. today felt like such a long day. maybe it's because of our officer meetings. but yeah. i was asked for an update and i said that i was just done. it felt good. though. yeah. hahah.

today was sort of uplifting, though! had to do presentations of the cover design journals we did. just simple stuff like why you did what you did and stuff. and then. choose a journal that you feel is more successful than yours and why. mine, anna's, and caitlin's were chosen quite a few times (; hahha. when devin chose mine he, his reasoning was "just look at it!" LOL. hahaha. fun stuff. as in anna's blog, 4th period was just filled with giggles hahaha.

OH AND! the national fall leadership conference..i might be able to go! :DD i'm so excited. hahah. i'll room with linxi and otherss. well, if she is going. but yeah. la c said that depending on the weekend, she and her husband can definitely go because they have family in denver, co anyway. sooo. i'm exictedd! i still have to ask my parents though. i'll just use that $250 i got from nationals to help pay for this. and hey, maybe i can fundraise for it, too? (:

SATSATSATSAT! D:

"CALLED OUT, SON." jeez.

i can't take this anymore. this is completely ridiculous. i just want to go to college already, away from EVERYONE. for a new start, a new beginning. to make new friends, to create new, beautiful memories.

i'll get over it. the summer IS over. time to get on with my life, no? unfortunately, the one part i would like to shake off from my life--i will not be able to do until for some time. i'm just not mean like that.

this is where my trust issues come in. i have no idea who to believe. there is alwaysss room to cause doubt in my mind. and it sucks.


jeez, my heart feels like cement right now. it's just so heavy. i started off the day pretty badly. turns out, i had to turn in one of the three reflective essays she handed back to us to be graded. i didn't know that. and i honestly don't remember her assigning it to us. and supposedly, it was on the board. and the day that it was due. i was absent cause i was sick. when i went back to school, i got no reminders about turning in the essay. now she's doing me a favor about allowing me to turn it in for half credit. i have to get a perfect A on the fucking essay just to get AT LEAST 50/100 -________- how fucked up is that.

then. the SAT this saturday.

then. there are my trust issues.

then. there's the utter humiliation i just went through. thanks. -.-

then. there's the letting go part. & the sudden realization that people will never change.

then. getting as many speechers/debaters to compete in fbla this year. NOTHING CONFLICTS. i'm so happy. this year, ghs fbla WILL do well in sweepstakes!

sigh

so you know the 4.0 that i got. my parents are making a huge deal out of it. seriously. can't they just stop? and i'm not being modest here or whatever; i am genuinely annoyed of how big of a deal they are making it. it's like. they don't believe in me and suddenly i get this and they are just so freaking amazed. and i don't want them all hyped up on my straight As because it's only been like the first five weeks of school! when semester grades come out, then maybe i'll tolerate it but right now, no.

SATs this saturday. ugh. i must study. i plan to take 7 practice tests until saturday. two today and one each night this week. oh boy. wish me luck homeskillets.



oh, and can you please stop being an ass. and i'm just too hopeless because i still think you're cute.
ALLOW ME SOME CLOSURE PLEASE.

ROYAL BALL = CUTE WHITE GUYS♥

omg. hahaha. today was so much fun! so linxi was stuck in traffic--took her an hour and a half to get here! she ended up getting here at 7 instead of 6ish that we planned. but it was cool cause i just got my face ready, so when she got here, i just had to do her hair and change. then. dude. T.T we got LOST. HAHA. jeezz! stupid google maps gave us some pretty convoluted directions -___- so i called melissa. we left the house at 7:40 and got there like at...8:30 LOL. we made so many U-turns! we got in the longish line--we didn't have to wait too long so yeah. we got in and saw tiffany, lugill, and tara first. after me and linxi checked in our stuff, we just walked around a bit so i could find more ghs kids but barelyy! everyone was mostly scattered about haha.

at first, just me and linxi on the dance floor was kind of awkward because there was like no breathing room! we found a couple of guys to dance with but my guy wasn't very good -___- hahahah. then moved on and saw tanya and katherine! totally hung out with them for the rest of the night. it was fun looking for random guys to dance with hahaha. danced with this one white dude..-_____- i think he was on something. seriously. haha. then then linxi, tanya, and katherine disappeared! i was like wtf! so i left the guy to go look for them but it was completely futile. i went to the refreshments table and saw jhaimyy. then went to go look for the girls again, jeez. haha. i felt so weird just walking around by myself. but they found me (cause they saw me first haha). we did a lott of walking around, scouting for potential dance partners but fuuuhhck. most of the guys had their girls. which was to be expected but still.

so then it's like 9:45 and me and linxi had to go soon so we danced one last dancee. but this time! i actually found cute guys to dance with! buahaha. and since it was still kind of early, called up alex to make some plans. but me and linxi ended up taking a bunch of pictures outside and thereforee delaying the realization that none of us had money to pay for parking T.T and we couldn't validate it! so were like..let's just go ask money from people! hahahah. omg. i felt so humiliated. haha. but we didn't. just went back inside to see if we could borrow some money from whoever. took like tennn minutes just to find someone! jeez. ended up borrowing from edwin. THANKSS. omg. like seriously. i was almost stressing out and panicking about the parking money! i was really starting to lose hope and then BAM! i see edwin. when he pulled out that skinny wallet of his and took out a $10 bill i was like OMFG relieved! hahah. so that took up an hour and actually couldn't chill with alex. kinda sucks, i wanted to hang out more! but stupid linxi has some yard sale at 5:30 in morning -____- haha.

oh. and then. got lost again. LOL. yeah, i know right. i called melissa but she didn't pick up. then i called my cousin and we gott it. linxi came back to my house to change and i uploaded her picturess. i have to ps them! muahaha. not really, actually. i just looked at them, they're finee. but anyways. it's late. and i have a service tomorrow, too. i vill post up peekchurrs toomarrow! haha.

SO MANY CUTE CUTE WHITE GUYSS! the place was just swimming with delicious EYE CANDY! :D♥

omg it's 11:46 already >.>

got to go shopping with linxi today! my mother loves the dress and necklace that linxi helped pick out, haha! i should shop with her more often (:

so i'm ready and pumped for royal ball tomorrow night. time to get downn and dirrty (; buahaha.

LOL

my google adsense account has been disabled due to invalid clicking hahahahah. aw, i feel bad now. i told andrew he could have the monies.

the fbla meeting today was such a disaster! ): we started SO late! partly due to technical difficulties with the mic and sound system and that members came in late. and then there was the whole light issue, LOL. jeez. we were gonna show the national fbla recruitment video right after the introductions so i just wanted to make sure that mr edo could actually turn them off. when i asked him, he turned it off right away and couldn't turn it back on T.T so it was like that for about 5-10 minutes. then i think it was...bryant? who turned it back on? haha yeah. so we started like at 12:30! only 15 minutes for the actual meeting, poo. then we just decided to show the video at the end of the meeting but when we did, there were MORE problems. the screen was blank! at first i thought it was the projector but monica's laptop actually just turned off on me -____- and the sound system and stuff still wasn't working (although, edo only got it to work while we were cleaning up..AFTER the meeting >.>) so not everyone could hearr it. sigh. and then the stupid bleachers wouldn't go back in! jeez. hopefully tomorrow's returning members' meeting will run better.

going shopping for royal ball with linxi in a couple hours! yayy. i'm excited (: then then. royal ball TOMORROW.

oh oh, and i think i have an idea for his birthday. muahahaha. i just hope he likess it? actually, i have no idea what he likes. but i'll try to see. ILY!

ew, nastyy!

i started to do homework but then i got distracted. i ended up cleaning my bathroom instead, hahah. cause i really needed to do my laundry for a pair of clean khakis for tomorrow's meeting. anyway. i just HATE it when my toilet gets clogged. it's so annoying. it's not even because of anything. just randomly, *CLOG! -____- and i couldn't find the plunger cause my mom moved it from my bathroom so for like..4 days, i always had to walk allll the way over to my parents' room or downstairs to pee. but now it's fixed cause i found the plunger. then i ended up cleaning the basin, too, cause if linxi is coming over...ew! can't show her a dirty bathroom! it wasn't, like, gritty dirty just needed a little water splashing. it's allll good now! (:

and i want to buy a new dress! for royal ball. nothing too fancy. i also just want to use up my f21 store credit already haha.



DUDE. what the shit. i see her face EVERYWHERE. well, not really her face. but. similarities in other people remind me of her. ugh.

torture

club faire was okay. it wasn't thattt exciting. though i am excited about all the students who signed up! hopefully tomorrow's meeting will have a large attendance.

while i was entering in senior quotes, i came across one that i actually really like (not a famous person quote, though): "4 longs years, 3 hot summers, 2 thousand ten is upon us, and 1 fantastic future awaits us." haha (: i'll leave this an anonymous quote, lol.

and i'm starting to believe that jimmy (not chen) is really coming back. i don't know, maybe it's just me being a girl. but he's a free bird. and aqua bird is a lookin'.

i think i just need closure. closure from what? he would say. closure from everything together. i need him out of my head and out of my life. because this is torture. i know way more information than i should know. i know too much. and i wish i had the strength to just not look one day. i'm done with being an onlooker, it's time i became a participant. i'm talking the talk. but can i walk the walk?

RIDICULOUS

so for the first time in...i don't know how long, i went to sleep at 10 PM last night. amazing, right?! haha. but i just had to. i couldn't stand knowing what i newly discovered. it's ridiculous, it really is. i seriously cannot wait until royal ball because i really need to get my mind off this shit. but no matter how bad things seem to be getting, i just can't shake it off. it is constantly there.


i've been telling this to myself for a while but i actually haven't been able to do it, haven't been able to push myself to do it even though there's a great incentive. my parents keep getting on my case about stupid shit. i have to get out of this house. was talking to linxi last night, (although not for this specific reason) she says that i need to study my ass for the SAT/ACT too. i don't know why but for some reason, linxi's voice is getting through to my head more than my own. as long as a voice is getting through to me, the reason or voice doesn't matter. i just need to study study study. but. thanks linxi :)

anyways, i woke up early to catch up on all the homework that i'm behind on. f me. haha.

one-upped

crappy day. sort of. okay, half.

english was fun just cause we got to get into groups and discuss the seven deadly sins and virtues. it was fun trying to define the word "love." second period was just a drag because i hatee grading papers, seriously! but i loved econ period, played monopoly and holy crap hahah. when phat was the first one to have to mortgage his property because zach is such a fucking shark, i laughed so much. hahah fucking zach!! hahaha, dude. by the end of the game, he owned the first row after Go and three more places after that..all with HOTELS. jesus. anyways. i was the first to actually lose from the game, HAHA. ROP was chill and so was yearbook. and math was whatever. dude, i have so much homework to catch up on, shoooo. i'm behind one whole chapter's worth of trig! -______- hate it hate it. sigh. the fbla officer meeting after school was actually kind of fun.

club faire is tomorrow!

oh. and i realized. LDI is basically a conference, yes? oh, how tainted they have now become for me. i won't even be able to dance at LDI! i don't think i'm allowed, sigh.

oh, oh. here's my official senior quote :D
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you need to look at my photo again?
(line break? hopefully, i can have a line break. if not, i guess it'll just be one single break)
Make fug-a-fug, not war :)(;"
hahah. it's not supposed to be conceited. i'm seriously just going for the funnies. i honestly don't think that about myself.

and i cannot waittt for royal ball! weeee, how exciting! i just want it to be friday already!

anywayss, it's when i got home that turned my day into complete crap. it's fucking ridiculous. i guess that kind of online stuff really does work, huh?

it's been kidnapped. can someone please rescue it?

four point oh

so, i checked my grades today. for the first time in my academic career, i am getting a 4.0. see, now, usually. i get about a 3.67 for the first progress report because math usually screws me over somehow. but i've conquered it this time. too bad this isn't my junior year, lolll. for ROP, i basically have the highest grade in the class. i say basically because the other two who are ahead of me joined the class late so they didn't have to do the first assignment or two--which were kind of hardd. so, ha. (: i SHOULD have the highest grade, shooooo. 97.72--that shit's going up as we get more projects, man! english--easy pie for now. this is the only class that i'm worried about maintaining an A. TA--no worries. econ--no worries. math--no worries. yearbook--might be a little sketchy since i haven't turned in what i was supposed to because i was out for three days last week. but hopefully, A. so yup. i'm not happy, i'm just satisfied. because really, my classes aren't very difficult at the moment.

the freshmen presentations went wellllll. (: i'm really hoping that we get a lot of new members! i seriously love fbla. i was just talking to linxi about it last night--i have absolutely no idea what high school would've been like without it. seriously. i made most of my friends through it.

oh, today. i got all my college stuff. i filled out my brag sheet--it's so lopsided. hahaha. cause i've got a bunch of school activities, no community activities since i was so heavily involved with speech and am still heavily involved in fbla. then i've got awards and stuff but no school awards--except for soaring eagles, i guess. and then the other misc stuff. you know, even for my insecurities with my stats/numbers, i am feeling pretty confident about syracuse u and c of w&m. i'm a little sketchy about bu but we'll see what happens. &honestly, i do not want to go to any UCs or CSUs so i'm not going to pay as much attention to them. andd. i SO need to do well on sat/acts. jeez. i'm actually really starting to get into all this college app stuff. it may be stressful but i like the whole filling out applications and things. i think it's kind of fun. and then when you write a really nice personal statement, great feeling. then when you get it peer edited and it gets even better, woww. totally boosts up the confidence levels. of course i'll be really crushed if i get rejected but hey, that's life, right?

my senior quote: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you need to look at my photo again?
TEHEE. i'm not sure if i should add "jkk. "A candle loses nothing by lighting another."
oh, and today, MACK was reunited (:
&so was aquabird and pebble :D
haha. i'm beginning to love senior year :)

SO EXCITED

haha, so linxi practically begged me to take her to royal ball and she didn't have so much fun at her homecoming so i'm gonna take her. and it's the perfecttt chance to finally hang out with her again! i miss her a lot :) but damnnn. we're gonna have FUNN. muahah hit on all the college boys that'll be there (; teheee. hahah, ahh! i'm so excitedd! i originally WAS going to take a guy but really, all the guys who i thought i could ask just wouldn't work out. partly because anna's not going, that bitch. hahah. i COULD take anna but i see her everyday whereas i've only seen linxi once since summit. sorry, annaa ): but yeah. me and linxi are gonna go shopping, me for a dress, her for some jewelery. normally, i wouldn't buy a new dress just for this but i really don't have a dress worthy of such a dance called the Royal Ball.

i have to go to school tomorrow. MACK will be reunited! well, unless chrisel isn't there ): i have so much homework to catch up on! and oh jeez. i'm so behind in ROP. sadface. i must finish the design journal cover. musttt. oh! and we have freshmen recruitment stuff going on tomorrow! i'm excited. haha. for fbla, we're going to freshmen seminar/healthsafety classes and presenting. this is gonna be fun since i can finally wear my section uniformm! :D i will definitely be taking pictures (:

and hopefully i'll be able to get my aa jacket tomorrow. i ordered mermaid green. i'm hoping it'll look good on me. haha.

fuck off, already

my parents are such a mood killer. seriously.

my mom texts me saying to call my grandma to wish her happy birthday. so i call, my mom picks up the phone, i cough a little, and then she's all "see, you're coughing again," it's like, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY WOMAN. coughing just doesn't disappear over the fucking night -.-

then i go down to get some food. i brought it up to my room and my dad fucking shits his pants. then goes on about how it's "not healthy" how i stay in my room "all day." i do not stay in my room all day. he's such a fucking retard. i DO go downstairs and shit. and THEN, he has the fucking nerves to be all "you can't do your homework in your room anymore" IT'S LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I CAN'T WORK DOWNSTAIRS, THERE ARE TOO MANY FUCKING DISTRACTIONS LIKE YOU, YOU FUCKING SHIT. and i continue on about how i can't work in super huge spaces like the downstairs because there are just TOO MANY THINGS. it's like..THERE'S A FUCKING REASON WHY KIM (sister) WAS ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING BACK ROOM, YOU FUCKING ASS. OH and what the SHIT, ANDREW NEVER FUCKING STUDIED DOWNSTAIRS. -__________-

they say it's the kids who think they know everything and think they don't have anything to learn from their parents. well guess the fuck what. THE PARENTS ARE WORSE. fucking shits.

when i'm finally out of this house next year, and i promise you that i will be, i will not miss my parents at all. i can guarantee you that.

truth be told, i miss you

and truth be told, I'M LYING (;

today was sooo much fun! today was our OAT Day! :D it went pretty well. 120 members! AWESOME. haha. and i believe my workshops went pretty well. everyone was taking notes! and FBLA JEOPARDY. oh man, it was fun being the "host" (: i had to ask eric on a lot of the questions cause they weren't in true jeopardy format but it was still fun. i was actually afraid that the jeopardy game wouldn't go too well but the members actually got reallyyy into it! i loved their enthusiasm and their competitive spirit! AND. my freaking jeopardy board was like..BEAUTIFUL. i will upload pictures on both facebook and wefridge later. haha.

but today was so freaking hot. just standing in the sun and i was sweating like a pig. on the plus side, there was a LOT of left over food and i brought home like a full tray of marinara pasta, salad, and some garlic bread. yuummmmm. actually, i couldn't even eat that much today, i'm still sick. haha.

oh, oh, and THENN. when we had a post oat day mini meeting with the section team, our co-directors gave us Jamba Juice giftcards! how cute is that.

and i've totally missed my section teamm♥. it's so fun being with them, it's like another family! haha. oh and i made a few new friendsss today! wait, no. i think it's just one friend. i didn't really have time to talk to a lot of the fellow chapter officers >.> i'll meet them somehow, haha.

then melissa came over cause the freaking girl forgot to bring her phone charger when she came back home from school, haha. it's cool, got to play catch up with her (:

and you know what i'm realizing, i'm basically having like..a FIVE day weekend! hahah. because i was gone for most of wedesday, then all of thursday and friday. oh, anna must miss me so. hahah. and i am sooo behind on ROP ):

peace, i'm out.

dude, seriously

okay one. i just read someone status about how trying to "run" for a senior best of is so pathetic. dude. it is. especially since at our school, there's like no system. like you watch how on tv, "She's All That," "Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior Princess," and "Princess Protection Program," (i can only remember mostly disney rofl) how those girls are campaigning to get queen. that is not how it works at ghs at allll. seriously. i'm not naming any names but when you have to TELL people to vote for you in something that doesn't involve legitimate politics, it's so lame. and. it's kind of desperate, too. not to mention a tainted win if you actually win.

and dude seriously, what the hell is wrong with monogamy these days? keep that shit in your pants -.-

bye, bye fever!

i still have the flu, though. i think. haha. my dad gave me an ibuprofen pill or something but it actually didn't help much. but once my mom gave me this chinese medicine cough syrup thing, it was gone like that! dude, i've been taking that medicine since i was a childdd man! that shiz is good. rofl. it's not one of those fruit-flavored good but like a minty one. so yeah, she gave me a soup spoon full and i licked it clean, LOL. seriously, no more headache and no more fever! it's down to just coughing, sneezing, and a stuffy nose now haha.

but now i have too much time on my hands! well, i've always had too much time on my hands--you can tell by how many times i've blogged in the past couple days, rofl.

the only thing i like about being sick is that i have noooooo appetite. i only eat a little for the sake of getting something in my stomach but otherwise, i just wouldn't be able to stomach anything down. and you're not supposed to eat solids when you have a fever anyway. let's see..since wednesday morning, i've eaten: toasted bread turkey sandwich (just bread and one slice of turkey) and apple for breakfast, a small bowl of rice and pork for lunch, and one of those mini microwave pizzas for dinner--that was wednesday. thursday: watermelon, couple bites of flan (ahh, FLAN!<3), and a slice of bread. today, just a slice of bread so far. my fever's gone but i still don't feel hungry. i remember last time i was really sick, once i ate something, i got stomach pains.

speaking of..FLAN. oh my, i love me my flan! hahah. my mom buys the powder mixes, she just adds egg and stuff and BAM. flan. vanilla flavor, i think. i suggested it as a fundraiser idea for fbla but our adviser said that not too many people have a taste for flan but..it's actually quite good. like, i don't think it takes much to have a taste for flan. i think we should still do it. hey, maybe one day, i'll bring some flan to an officer meeting! haha. it'll be myyy treat and everyone will see how delicious they are, rofl.

oh, oh. you know what i just LOVE about my cell phone? the nokia 6301. well, i think this goes for pretty much any nokia phone so i guess just nokia in general. they have a program for the computer called "Nokia PC Suite." just connect your phone to the computer (usb cable) and you can practically operate your phone from the computer! well, as far as text messaging and phone calls go, haha. like when i had NOOO internet and i had to turn in a paper to turnitin.com, i connected my phone to the computer, copied and pasted my essay into a text message (oh, btw, thank GOD for picture text messages!) and texted to my friend's e-mail and he turned it in for me. then then, since i couldn't go to school yesterday and today, i needed to send my group some project information--like number information. so i just hooked it up, and typed the text. so easy. oh, so easy. haha. DUDE. i can even operate my email from my phone. i freaking love unlimited text and picture text messaging!

well anyways, i must go and do nothing..haha. royal court e-mails! didn't get one! loll. it's kay. i wonder if anyone from our school got one though, hm..

talk to me

i'm getting worse ): and what sucks is that i'm not taking any meds to make me drowsy..I'M SO BORED! my head hurts too much to actually do any homework or sat/act studying. there's nothing ever good on TV during the day time and there is no oneee to talk to! well. i COULD be talking to someone. well, at least i want to be talking to someone. sigh. i have no idea what the hell i'm going to be doing tomorrow since i can't go to school. i don't even think i can go back to school during 6th period for this thing with Ramona Convent FBLA. AH!

my mother is so completely annoying. i swear. my dad, too. i just want to get OUT of the house already! my mom keeps moving my shit all around, wth! whenever she cleans my room, I JUST HATE IT. 'cause i never know where anything is anymore! i can't even find my officer polo! wth! my mom, actually, isn't one of those "i'll support you in whatever you decide to do as long as it's not something bad." -__________- ugh. i get so fed up with her. like, yeah, i feel kind of guilty because i can be a real brat to her but..COME THE FREAK ON! i can't help but act that way with her! anyone who meets her will think she's nice and stuff and that's because she has good hospitality but jeeezzz..living with her! don't get me wrong, i love my mom, i love both my parents. but that doesn't necessarily mean that i like them all the time. i really don't like bonding with my parents.

senior quotes are due tomorrow and i won't be at school >.> i already missed senior best ofs! well i'm in yearbook anyway so it's okay. but yeah. i don't know what to do for my senior quote. should i use some really cliched quote? or use a famous person quote that is cliched in the fact that it's a famous person quote. i remember in sophomore year, when i was in cross country, this one afternoon after a run. just chillin on the fake grass of our football field and i started asking some guys..questions. hahha. "I'm ready." how's that for a senior quote? rofl. i remember actually saying that i would use it. but i don't knoww. or maybe i could use a pick up line or something, haha. or how about "Let's run away and never come back." or maybe something with the Naked joke! haha. idkk yet.

how sickly

omfg, i am so sick. not like 102 degree fever sick but like..long period of time sick. ughh! i have a stuffy nose when i lie down, runny nose when i'm up, coughing and sneezing, my back hurts like little bitch, have a freaking headache, and just ahhhh! i probably won't go to school tomorrow, i have to get better for OAT Day! the only thing i'm worried about is that i'm missing so many classes of ROP! ): I CANNOT BE BEHIND THE CLASS! i'm always ahead! and i want to stay ahead! it's actually kind of fun. because when i finish too early, ms hopper will just tell me to work on my own because she doesn't want me too ahead of the class muahha. i love free periods. haha. i actually don't mind going to school now..maybe it's because my classes aren't very hardcore? lol.

today, i was watching Gilmore Girls and i never realized how clever their jokes are! haha. well, idk if clever is the right word for it but they are pretty subtle. I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY'S DAISYY! lord knows i've had one of my own, haha. i probably have another one right now.

ohhh my, i believe progress reports come out tomorrow? I BETTER HAVE A 4.0.
toodles.

you give me fever

literally. shhhit.

sometimes i really hate the internet. and social networks. it's like what the fuck, they make our lives more difficult than it needs to be. so much dramaaa. anyways. royal court e-mails come out in two dayss. i'll be waiting to not receive mine. haha. not being negative or pessimistic. just being realistic. it really would have been great to become at least a quarter finalist, though! honestly, i really don't want to be part of the court because that is a LOT of time off from school--way more than i can afford. i can only miss so many ROP classes! and i am really diggin the class. i loveee graphic design! it's a shame that w&m doesn't offer a graphic design major but i hear their marketing program is pretty good? jeez. i'm so nervous about college apps. i'm also going to apply to syracuse--they have commercial/advertising art! that is definitely something i'm excited for. and i'm considering a couple other colleges, too. but shiiit. i'm nervous. haha. honestly, IF i got into both (which, i think, would be a fucking miracle), i'd go to syracuse. new york is an expensive place to live in but i think it'll all work out. but anyway, i'm getting ahead of myself. i still need to take the sats and the act. talk about the senior life.



it's just not enough that i let you hold it, huh?

sick

sooo..this morning, i had the hardest time waking up. like, even taking a shower didn't completely wake me up. i felt pretty shitty. i even had a moment's hesitation to just ask my parents if i can stay home because i felt sick and shit. but unless i was seriouslyyy sick and not just some cough and a headache, they won't allow it -.- so i went to first period, i felt kind of fine, but then i went to second period i was just so ughhh. went to the nurses office and i saw chrisel theree. she wasn't feeling well either. talk about flu season, hahah. but yeah. nurse said i had a temp of 100.8 so i had to go home. and it's kind of funny because she also said that i couldn't come to school tomorrow, like, not even to try to come to school tomorrow because they're just going to send me home again, haha. damn, if only i'd been sent home tomorrow, 4 day weekend! lolll. but not it's weird because when i got home and used my thermometer, said barely 99.6. which i guess is close but still. anyways, my parents always find it such a dragg when i get sick -__- i think this is like the third time this calendar year that i had to call home. my dad is kind of whatever about it because it's my mom who takes care of me. the FIRST time i got sent home..whew. i reallyyy had the fever, then. had a headache that hurt so much i cried, my back was aching like a little bitch, and i couldn't stomach much food--all i could take were chewy bars >.> actually, i shouldn't be saying that "i had a fever" since having a fever is just a symptom for something else. i guess i had the body flu? idk. then i just get random fevers like the second time and today, haha.

just not enough

all of a sudden, i'm feeling cheated and robbed. cheated because i feel like i give and i give and the returns are never as meaningful are given with enough heart. robbed because i feel like i've been wasting my time with anyone and anything that i has cheated me. this isn't the first time i've felt this way. these are more like realizations. i'll suddenly realize that i'm being taken for granted or i'm not appreciated enough or i'm just not as important to those who i find important to me. and then. i'll go my ignorant way and continue on this life of unfulfillment. then it happens all over again, giving me grief.

i may be overreacting but, honestly, it's who i am. i take things personally. but i get over them easily enough--that's the only upside about all of this.

senior year is a drag. i just want to get the hell out of this state already--away from all my family and friends. i need a new change in scenery, new people to surround myself with, and just a new damned life.

STOP, just STOP. can you do that?

today was pretty chilllll. highlight of my day was most likely yearbook period and Kim Ky Noodle House with Kara after the officer meeting! haha. it's funny because Kara and I were supposed to go to kknh yesterday so i could get a picture of it for yearbook but she was too sick to even go to school, lameee. haha. jk. so we went today and we set it for 4:30 cause of the officer meeting. i reallyyyy didn't want to make Kara wait so i totally made sure we didn't go off on tangents too many times during the meeting and we adjourned at freaking 3:56! that's a record, right there! rofl. so then i called her but she didn't pick up. then i kept calling her and calling her. i called her like TEN FREAKING TIMES and she didn't pick up. then she called me back..and i had the wrong number, LOL. i was like "oh, sorry, i think i have the wrong number!" and the guy was like "yeah..i think you do." hahah. oh how funnies. well, anyway. we got to kim ky and it was funnn! we're like SISTERS♥ we're practically family anyway, haha. cheng/chang, same thing!

dude, so i got home at 6 then i think i just crashed for bit. but then, when i woke up at 8, i don't think i realized that i was waking up from a nap hahha. i just woke up, went to my laptop and i was thinking...wait, did i just take a nap? o.o" hahah.

oh and i should note, the subject line isn't always going to match the content of the blog, haha (: it'll be kind of like a current status/mood thing.

NEW

okayy so i have converted from xanga to blogspot! haha. i think blogging will be good for me though i don't know how many people will even actually read this stuff so yeah. i'll TRY to blog about really interesting topics but most likely, i'll end up blogging about my day/problems. we'll see! haha.

so YESTERDAY, i had such a longgg day! and the fact that i got no sleep the night before did not help at all -__- i was supposed to make this jeopardy board for FBLA OAT Day and have it ready to present at the section meeting for Saturday but i totally procrastinated. and turns out. i didn't even NEED the fucking board! only the questions! what the shit! because i also had royal court tryouts! sooo lame. but yeah.

SPEAKING OF. royal court tryouts. damn. i was wishfully thinking that i may actually make it past the initial interview. but alas, it's all WISHFUL thinking, of course. i totally bombed my 15 section interview! i'm kind of bummed but whatever. because, like, HOW COOL would it be to actually be part of the fucking ROYAL COURT? get a bunch of free make up, clothes, shoes, have a freaking chauffeur (transportation is taken care of to and from related events when you're part of the court), interviews, photoshoots, getting your hair&makeup done professionallyy, dining and hanging out with football players..what a life! you would have to skip a BUNCH of school though--which is something that i actually don't want to do. haha. i'm taking an ROP class during school so there are only so many hours (periods/days) that i can skip! so i'm kind of bummed but it's okay. we got our pictures professionally taken, though! with a bouquet of roses and everything. here's my picturee. then we toured the house and got our free royal ball tickets! oh, i'm so excited for royal ball! haha (=

then after royal court tryouts, had a section officer meeting at gab--i was an hour late T.T but it's okay. they didn't punish me for it. haha. since there was also icebreaker speech tourn that day, i got SPEECH FOOD OM NOM NOM. i love speech food! esp gab speech food! well, maybe only gab speech food because it's so cheap! i love it! sigh. i really miss speech. like. really. of course i don't miss the stress of it all but i miss the people and the tournaments. oh god, i do miss the tournaments. how everyone is so dressed and how we're all sitting around and talking during the down time. AH! def, def loved speech! debate was fun, too. haha.

well anyways, i got back, took a 4 hour nap? can't remember how long. then knocked out again at 10:30. haven't went to sleep that early in such a long time! i got a niceee 12 hour sleep! f yeah! haha. that's itt for noww. don't know how often i'll blog but there ya go (=