"CALLED OUT, SON." jeez.

i can't take this anymore. this is completely ridiculous. i just want to go to college already, away from EVERYONE. for a new start, a new beginning. to make new friends, to create new, beautiful memories.

i'll get over it. the summer IS over. time to get on with my life, no? unfortunately, the one part i would like to shake off from my life--i will not be able to do until for some time. i'm just not mean like that.

this is where my trust issues come in. i have no idea who to believe. there is alwaysss room to cause doubt in my mind. and it sucks.


jeez, my heart feels like cement right now. it's just so heavy. i started off the day pretty badly. turns out, i had to turn in one of the three reflective essays she handed back to us to be graded. i didn't know that. and i honestly don't remember her assigning it to us. and supposedly, it was on the board. and the day that it was due. i was absent cause i was sick. when i went back to school, i got no reminders about turning in the essay. now she's doing me a favor about allowing me to turn it in for half credit. i have to get a perfect A on the fucking essay just to get AT LEAST 50/100 -________- how fucked up is that.

then. the SAT this saturday.

then. there are my trust issues.

then. there's the utter humiliation i just went through. thanks. -.-

then. there's the letting go part. & the sudden realization that people will never change.

then. getting as many speechers/debaters to compete in fbla this year. NOTHING CONFLICTS. i'm so happy. this year, ghs fbla WILL do well in sweepstakes!