i don't even know who you are

happy halloween, kiddies.

started my day off by waking up super early to do my LDI worksop, ayee. haha. wasn't that bad, i actually have it pretty easy since my workshop is mostly live demonstration. thenn, section meeting at 10 AM! ahh, i missed them! haha :)

afterwards, went shoppingg! at appalet. with the mother. haha. she loves that store. got two new dresses. one casual. and one "pro." haha. so says anna. very "prez" of me. hehe.

i don't know if i want to go to the homecoming dance. "a saturated night fever." really? loll. but yeah. no date. and i don't have the energy to ask anyone anymore. because frankly, i just don't have the energy to decide who to ask. there are two contenders atm. i can't decide. and idk about going to san gabriel's dance. i would lovee to be there to see justin and patty as homecoming king and queen and as dates! how cut-three is that. haha. but alas, i am still not sure.

it was a nicee halloween. was gonna do something with cecilia but she had to take her lil bro and his friends trick or treating. so i went to the movies with kevin, leon, and ken. we watched zombieland. it's actually not stupid funny as i thought it was. but it was still kind of gory T.T i actually wanted to puke! nasty. Columbus reminded me of mike, lol. they kind of look a like, no? i barely noticed that when Columbus and Wichita were about to kiss, LOL. ironic? maybe. rofl. haha. CARDIO! DOUBLE TAP!

but yeah. it was nice hanging out with just guys for once. my parents don't know it, of course. i made it look like i was going out with my cousin instead, hehe. she just picked me up and dropped me off at kevin's house. oh, oh. when i was buying the ticket, i made sure i got the guy instead of the girl. totally didn't get carded (; what can i say? i'm a Woman.

sometimes, i wonder

that it actually happened to a girl like me. i think back on it and i can't believe that something exciting and new and fun yet totally with it's downsides, as well, happened to me. sometimes, i wonder what it would've been like had nothing happened. had nothing progressed.

i wonder too much.

and i make big deals out nothing too much.

-

the social/fundraiser was fun! originally, i wasn't planning on participating in the photo scavenger hunt cause i'm just lazy like that but oliver roped me into their group. i just told them what to do and took the photos hahah. well. we did win :) tehee. made some new friends from alhambra! that was cool. stayed until 8 after the social ended at 6 with monica and kris. cecilia came at like..7? don't remember. but afterwards, went to get some soliddd food with cecilia at wendy's! they have yummy french fries :D haha. then home. uploaded hilarious photos and videos from the scavenger hunt. and watched more grey's anatomy :)

I LOVE GREY'S ANATOMY! that show is the freaking bomb! haha. i am currently watching season 2 online, tehee.

my day

7:43 AM.

that was the time when i woke up.


7:43 AM

that was the time when i freaked the shit out and jumped out of bed to quickly get ready.


8:00 AM

that was the time when i left the house


8:00 AM

that was the time when i was supposed to report to Arcadia HS for the ACT exam


8:12 AM

that was the time we got to Arcadia HS but couldn't find the "main entrance" and spent the next 8 minutes circling around that damned campus trying to find it.


8:18 AM

that was the time when we stopped and asked a girl where the ACT was taking place. she pointed across a parking lot and said it was in the classrooms. my dad didn't let me out, said "DON'T RUSH! DON'T RUSH! THAT'S TOO MUCH WALKING FOR YOU." he was pissing me off.


8:20 AM

that was the time when i finally get out of that fucking car and into Arcadia HS.


8:30 AM

that was the time when i finally located my room. also, when the freaking proctor wouldn't allow me to take the test because they had started already. i looked inside, they had only started filling out the bubbles. what the shit. unless i was mistaken. but i don't think so. -_________-


8:55 AM

that was the time when i finally decided to call my parents to pick me up. i cried from frustration and anger for the previous 25 minutes.


9:30 AM

that was the time when my parents actually got here. I waited 35 fucking minutes. it shouldn't have taken that long.


1PM

that is the time that i should have been picked up from Arcadia HS had i been able to take the fucking test

2:20 PM

that was the time when i decided that i just wasn't in the mood to go see Paranormal Activity. let alone in the mood to do anything else.


2:20 PM

that was the time when i officially declared my day ruined.


3:30 PM

that was the time when i decided to sleep away the day.


6:30 PM

that was the time when i woke up from my nap, kind of..hurt? from the way he was such a jerk in my dream. even though it's just a dream. still kind of affects me. sigh.



&that was my day.


just a note on Paranormal Activity, i don't know if it was my bad morning or something but now i really don't care for the movie. like, i don't want to watch it cause i'm afraid to, i just don't care for it anymore. sigh.

IPOD! :D

oh! so, on tuesday, i was just watching one tree hill yesterday--which, btw, quin doesn't act very well. she's very annoying. i hate watching scenes that involve her. so yeah. i'm just catching up on my shows when my dad comes home and BAM! pulls out a little white box out of his pocket and was like "here is your ipod" and i was like no fucking way! i literally took it out of his hand and ran upstairs to open it. omfg. it is SO cool. the thing has fucking speakers! so you don't need earphones to listen to it! oh, and it's the video nano :) teheee. hahah. but yeah. it's pretty dope.

yesterday, i was so tired that i knocked out at 8:45 PM! that's the EARLIEST i have EVER slept! and i am actually counting this as the time i went to sleep cause even though i did wake up a few hours later, i just went back to sleep. though i couldn't bring myself to wake up again at 5:30 to run in the morning T.T so i just ran today after school, haha.

NO PARANORMAL ACTIVITY TODAY ): lawl. me and cecilia are just going to watch it this weekend--since it IS a three day weekend. yes! haha. talking with the chius today, i realize that i am seriously going to be SHIT SCARED while watching it. like. fuckk, dude! oh and omg. i even had a dream about it last night. woah. haha. yeah ): but i got this. i really want the experience of paranormal activity. i just haveeee to have it, haha.

i wonder if you ever read this? probably not. actually, i WOULD know if you had cause..i have this sitemeter thing on here, lol. but like..sigh! idk! am i crazy? needy? RIDICULOUS (you're favorite word, loll)? to want to keep in touch? to stay FRIENDS? so hopefully, MAYBE, if i get accepted into w&m, i won't be totally alone in va? slim chance. but it's nice to imagine. and regardless of you, i actually really do love w&m. i don't like how i'm another notch on your belt of girls who you don't talk to. that just rings of a suckiness to it, doesn't it? even the fact that a belt of such exists in your closet is kinda sad. am i getting too metaphorical? lawl. hope life is treating you well, buddy.



♫ i spend my time just thinkin', thinkin', thinkin' 'bout you. every single day, yes, i'm really missin', missin' you

time to DESTRESS

ahhh, at least a little ♥
sunday, kevin didn't want to do dim sum, so we didn't. we scheduled for 9, then 10, then 10:15, and then finally met up at my house at 11. haha. it was such an unproductive day. the only thing we accomplished was figure out what our team name would be, rofl. and zach couldn't be there! aye. haha. it's cool, though. we had fun, anyways haha. stupid phat kept falling asleep ahaha. so today, we finally turned in our stock market project and i feel like a weight has just been lifted off my shoulders! i feel really great in terms of stress right now. and today's trig test was freaking pie. i finished that shit in 2 seconds. more like 5 minutes but you get the hyperbole. haha.

but on sunday, me and amanda, we went to go watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. holy shit. i was so scared right before. it was ughh though. cause the stupid lady didn't let us in -_____-. even though amanda's mom was there to say it was okay for us to watch it, she said we can't go in. so we changed our tickets and waited for jhaimy to come. and when she did, it was a different girl who DIDN'T check IDs -_____- even though jhaimy would've been fine because she is 17 but still. that's whack. i'm still 16 and amanda didn't have her ID on her and it was ugh. we tried to sneak it but once we did, they actually came in and told us we had to leave. it was totally the highlight of their day. lamefucks.

i don't know why but i REALLY want to watch it. i know i'm gonna get shit scared but like..i don't know! it's weird! sometimes, i'll want do something that i usually really hate or like the actual experience terrifies the hell out of me. like going on rollercoasters. i HATE them. but when i was at universal studios with linxi and them, i was like "LINXI LET'S GO ON JURASSIC PARK" and stuff. and noww. "LET'S GO WATCH PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!!" but yeah. i think i'm gonna try to go watch it with cecilia tomorrow at the renaissance. she has free tickets. tehee ♥ hahah. but i'm still really scared. i wish it was a GROUP of us going so afterwards, we won't seem so..alone. or if my brother just took me to watch it, i'd be okay with that, too.

and i don't know why either but..i just know that i always feel this need for male companionship. and it's not me being boy crazy. this goes with my brothers and my cousins, too. i just love hanging out with boys! like i would be totally fine if my brother took me to a movie instead of a guy friend or a girl friend. just cause i like hanging out with my brothers and/or my guy cousins. then i'm always trying to make good friends out of guys cause..i guess that's just me. i need male companionship. maybe it's because i've been hanging out with andrew for the majority of my life and now that he's gone, there's this void? i don't know. i do miss him, though! because i never hung out with my sister as much, it was always me with my brothers. i guess i'm just used to it and i need it in order to feel like myself again...? aye. idk. it's weirdd.

anyways, off to go watch House and eat some MEATBALLSSS, yum ♥

yerds? maybe not. but still fun!

YEARBOOK! was fun :) lol. so alex took me, leslie, kathleen, and joseph to walnut hs and man, what a longgg day. i fell alseep during both lectures d: haha. but spending time with our group was fun! dude, ms ross is so funny hahahha. she's too eccentric for words, rofl. anyways, yeahh. we got a lot of stuff done today? mmm. started at 9 AM and MAN, i ate a LOT. like. wow. haha. i totally have to run it off ): anyways. that's it, really. while we were waiting, we just took pictures with leslie's mac, lol.

today was so ♨!

(hot) seriously. so hot today! wth!

-

i want the new ipod nano. this morning, i told my dad about getting an R4 from a friend for only $30 and my dad's like..maybe you should just sell the DS and use the money for the ipod. i'm like YES! FINALLY! last time i asked him to sell it, he said no -.- but then today after school, he was like..don't sell it. -___________-

when i got home, i watched Grey's Anatomy and shit, that series gets better and better each episode! "You think you can pray away the gay?" ... "YOU CAN'T PRAY AWAY THE GAY!" Cali was sooo good! and i LOVE Arizona's anecdotes! "I wasn't named after the state, but after a battleship" tehee, i smiled at myself cause i actually know what she's talking about, the bombing of pearl harbor! "the USS Arizona, my grandfather saved 19 men before he drowned...I am a strong man in a storm" or something. she was talking to Cali's dad about accepting her homosexuality. damn, Arizona is so wise. seriously. Grey's Anatomy♥♥♥

today, i had an epiphany. well, not really. looking at w&m site, i think i'm going to submit an additional piece of "artwork." so, i can like record myself doing a speech and send it to them! i would do my last year's OI but i'd have to like seriouslyyy practice. i'm gonna try to get amy to coach me hahaha.

and i have to say. i think the bbq burgers got better this year! really, they're pretty damned good! i wanted to eat a second one, today. haha.

aye. so much to say. so little energy. bye!

shake that. move that. shake that.

it was sunny today ): well, in the afternoon it was, at least lol.

yesterday, i completely forgot about a school site council meeting. COMPLETELY. well, i guess i wasss sick :) and i did crash at 5pm. ayee. i need to set up a student forum meeting soon.

i'm going to this design clinic at walnut hs on saturday for yearbook. i hope it helps! and i hope it's fun! haha.

&this is pretty much a random post. but i've decided. i'm going to try to post a photo for each a blog :) I just really like the necklace i'm wearing! and the v-neck tshirt, haha. i especially love how it's ring--and it actually fits, btw. and i lovee the locket! though, i'm too lazy to try to put anything in there, haha.

i was supposed to go to senior poster painting today after school but i was just so tiredd. i exhaust so easily. did i use that word correctly? lols.

that's itt.

♫ I love just who you are, I ain't gon try to change it. You are a shooting star, thats why you are my favorite.

today was ☁y; didn't require an ☂ :)

hehe i loved today! it was such a senior-year-ish day :)

first, LATE START for school! second, didn't even go to school hahah. woke up a bit early to do homework, headed over to kevin chet's and stupid anna wasn't picking up her phone -_____- she was supposedd to meet at my house by 9! but she wanted to sleep in. i told her too bad and that she had to go to breakfast with meee. haha. so kevin and i just picked her up and went to denny's. anna and i ate separately while kevin ate with some other kids. man, there we quite a few ghs kids there haha. but it was funn. man, i ate so much. hahah.

tehee. kevin was all, let's go to starbuck's first. and we're like okay but we wanted to stay in the car, so he left the keys in so we could listen to the music. but then we got bored. took the keys out and just left hahahahah. first we went into the shoe store but there was like..nothing there! then saw kara, tanya, and some other people so we went back out and into the..beauty store? rofl. and then i saw kevin outside all "wtfff?" HAHA. omg. that was so funny. and the ride to the library was funny, too. kevin: he's like a second father to me. me: he can be my daddy! LOLOLOL! hahahaha. oh my, that was so good ;D

anyways, he dropped us off at the sg library and it's pretty nice! i have to say, i like it better than the rosemead one. it's also much quieter haha. andd. there's a cute guy who works there ;D dude, it was so funny. cause he kept looking over to me and anna and like.. :DD he's cuute! and okay, so they have these reallyy comfortable chairs--the ones where like it's a piece of cloth over metal bars or whatever. and when sat there for the longest time and he was just behind us putting books away and like, we were giggling so much hahah. and then and then. he has to put books in FRONT of me and..LOL. this was my view for like 20 seconds ;) HAHAHA. i swear. once i took the picture, i just started giggling like mad. he was just ASKING for me to take it! come on. hahahah. ohh my. he's a cutie (;

then patrick just picked me and anna up once he got out of 5th period. i totally forgot that he drove. he drives a freaking mini van HAHAHA. went to jambaa and i got a strawberry whirl with mangos in it :) mangos, strawberries, &bananas! ♥ really, so good! and dude, patrick sucks at driving lawls.

for a day of unproductiviteness, i was awfully tired when i got home. crashed from 5-9. now i have make up homework to do. and idk. for some reason. i'm just feeling so. frustrated? i really want to get into william & mary. and even though i tell people and myself that i feel i can get into syracause, i'm really not so sure. seriously. i'm so paranoid that i'm not going to get into anywhere. even the cal states -____- sigh. i'm just feeling so jumbled up right now asdfgasdfgfdsfdfg. i really need some security =/

and really. wth. can't we be friends? must you not talk to me? i know i get too attached sometimes. or i just talk too much. but. aye. this is so pointless. i can't delete you. i probably need to cause i can't seem to shut up to you--even when you completely ignore me. and stupid anna is too supportive when i hesitate to text you or anything. and honestly. i don't want to be added to that list of girls who you don't talk to anymore. sometimes i wonder if you ever wish that you had never gotten involved with me. like. if you regret it. like "damn, this chick is causing so much drama, should've kept my mouth shut..." T.T

fuck my life, i hate thinking so much.

♫ cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out, i just didn't know what to say.

such dreary weather

& i LOVE it!

-

today was both a good and bad day. had to do an oral presentation for our ORBs in english today, i went first. and i think i did pretty well! we all had to dress up as the protagonist and mine was a guy -.- haha. but it's okay cause i just wore my brother's dress shirt. got a 5! woo! haha. OH. but dude. so because i turned in an essay late (i did not know it was due, i swear!), i only got HALF credit for the 5- that i got! UGH! makes me even more pissed at myself! but that is the reason why i chose that essay for the half credit one. haha. aye. instead of an at least 90/100, i'm only getting like..45/100 T.T

and i had my senior conference today with my counselor. jeez. every time i talk to her, i feel so down. i'm not going to get into any of the privates i'm applying to, am i? then she says "well, angela, you have to think realistically..." i'm like "..." SIGHH. am i too hopeful? i really believe i can get into syracuse, even with my stats..i think my personal statement will be pretty good. so will my teacher recommendations. haha i hope so at leastt.

i love my econ group! haha. we're going to work on our stock market project on sunday. well. work & play ;) haha.

and TOMORROW. late start! thank you ghs for having the PSAT!

oh, and i finally got my AA jacket yesterday. it is NOT mermaid green! it's more like a rich turquoise.

but anywhos. off to do college apps.

can it please rain already?

Sorry for being an ass today. I don't think before I do/say sometimes. Nor do I know how to shut up. &then I just make a big deal out of things because I don't like it when there's tension. But it got me thinking (and since I always think a lot, it is pretty bad for me, too). I hope we can be cool? I don't like losing friends.

-

Dear M.,

I vagina you.
You have a nice vagina.
You make me vagina.
You should vagina.
Someday I will vagina.
You + me = vagina.
If I saw you now, I'd vagina.
I want to vagina you.
I would build a vagina just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be vagina.
We could vagina under the stars.

Sincerely,
vagina

(P.S. vagiiiiiiiiiiina.)


Are you laughing by now? How about smiling in amusement? It just doesn't have the same ring to it like with the word penis, does it. haha. That's why I didn't post this on your wall in the first place.

But had I not begun to feel insulted a9and thus vindictive in response to yours), this is what I probably would have said to you:

Dear M.,

I will always like you [enough to be friends].
You have a nice boyish charm.
You make me happy, excited, angry, upset.
You should try to get to know me, like forreals.
Someday I will visit you in VA.
You + me = a definitely interesting summer.
If I saw you now, I'd hug you.
I want to know more about you.
I would build a calculator just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be Love Game by Lady Gaga even though you hate it.
We could talk about baseball (uh, I know a thing or two :) & books under the stars.

Sincerely,
Angela

(P.S. I didn't find your version of this to me very funny.)


Why is this a blog? 'Cause this is more of me needing to let everything out, say what I need to and all that jazz, more than actually telling you. But you might as well know?



xoxo.

OH, MYY ♥

today was...a surprisingly good day! got about 5 hours of sleep and dad made me french toast out of hamburger buns haha. which, actually, tastes pretty damned good. better than regular sandwich bread i'd say. and damn. that breakfast made ALL the difference. i didn't feel drowsy at all during the test. and damn. that test was EASY. i liked the essay topic. and i applied what i learned from school in it. hahah. not really. just Siddhartha. andd, i was able to answer almost all of them! hopefully i got most of them right d: really. i want to break at leasttt 1900. sigh, i can't wait for the scores to come out! then, i just have to take the ACT. i think i used up all my fee waivers for the SAT so if my score isn't completely satisfying, then i'm just going to have to study my ass off for the ACT. cause honestly, i didn't study as much as i said i would for the SAT. and i still have a WHOLEE SAT prep book! i would like to utilize it. so actually. maybe i WILL take the SAT again. we'll see.

after my dad picked me up from blair hs OH WAIT! dude. omfg. i actually miss testing at san marino high school! i like the whole waiting in a crowd for the people to post up posters about who goes to which room. there's just this air of..speechness? maybe that's why. cause it's kind of like waiting for postings. and really, i just like how smhs runs the SAT. blair hs is so -________- well, there's a reason why smhs is such a good school. lol. that's kind of mean for blair but seriously! our class didn't start till like..8:45! wth! and the proctor..oh my god -__- at first she just walked in, checked us all in AGAIN (we had to be checked in in order to find out which classroom we were in), and didn't say a word after that. and then she actually wrote on the white board with a Crayola washable marker -_____- then she tried another one but wow, could she not tell that it wasn't a dry erase marker? seriously! oh and lawl. at 8:30, this guy comes running saying "is it too late to take the SAT?!" all panting and stuff. kind of funny. then the proctor's cool with it but when she asked for his ticket, he said he left in the car. fail. hahah. & the proctor was such a fail at being a proctor, too. she didn't pay attention to us during the test at all. she just sat there reading. which i can understand cause i wouldn't want to spend my saturday morning doing that but you get paid to do it! this one girl was totally working on her essay when she wasn't supposed to.

but yeah. the SAT was pretty alright. oh, and i met this girl, Arjelly/Argelly. haha. she's pretty cooool. she goes to pasadena hs. maybe i'll facebook her. maybe not. lols. oh! so. onward.

dad picked me up and got In N Out! ♥ and wow, the drive thru line was so long and i saw ELTON WONG. i haven't seen that boy since hillcrest! so, 5 years! haha. it was pretty cool. then got home, watched 90210 which was actually pretty boring. took a nap. then. watched GREY'S ANATOMY, OH MYY ♥ ;)

it was such a GREAT episode! like. it was sooo touching! omfg. i loved it. Grey's Anatomy really is a great program. but i've said so much already. haha. i should gooo.

forest green is my color, apparently :)

haha. (:

-

today was fun! i think a got a bit owned by today's Siddartha exam but whatever haha. i liked 4th period, i loveee my little pencil man cartoon! haha. we're making quote posters; my quote is "morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace" by oscar wilde (: &i really enjoyed yearbook! the period was just so...'lax! and i have to say. i do like photography. the feeling after taking a good photo? incrediblee. then went home after 5th, had some stuff to do.

then. driving lessons! :D dude, i'm so scared to actually drive on the major streets with other cars o_o. i don't know if my nerves and anxiety can take it. haha.

&i totally brought my SAT prep book with me everywheree. well. to school and then to shakey's hahaha. yeah, andrew wee and maggie came over, chilled for a bit, then kara picked us up for ka lei's shakey fundraiser. man, it was CROWDED. but funn! took sooo many pictures! hahah. dude, took forever for me and kara to get a nice jumping picture -.- rofl, good exercise though? haha. yeah. didn't do much studying, just skimmed over some root words and that's it. got to talk to nicole hsu for a bit! damn, i haven't talked to that girl in a while. it's okay. we'll catch up at LDI (:

speaking of! today, trip slips were passed out! and so was fundraising candy. 50 copies of trip slips were made. ALL gone by the end of lunch! holy crap! jason says they were mostly new members but honestly, we might have to cut members if we actually have that many who are definitely sure of going. andrade can't chaperone this time because he has some things to do so la c is looking for another chaperone--and that's going to be difficult already. and we need one chaperone for every 15 students..so at most, we can only take 30? we'll see. but LDI is going to be funn. rooming with nicole hsu, maggie, and cecilia! tehee.

this year is going to be THE YEAR.

and omfg. SAT TOMORROW.

what the shit

okay before, i wasn't pissed at all. i understood it and i was just not mad. but then. now thinking back on it, that one action changed a shitload of crap. right now, i still wouldn't be pissed. but after another action. now i am. i am really, really pissed. what the shit. thanks a lot. you made my life a whole lot messier.

PUBLIC INDECENCY

really? seriously? come on. get it together. no one wants to see that! you've got curves, sure. or rather, you've got..a curve. you gotta work around it and dress appropriately.

-

woke up late today. again. -_________- so i figured that and absent was less harmful than another tardy for english class. plus, i didn't finish my homework -___-

and i actually brought my SAT prep book with me today hahaha. gg right? haha stupid kevin, amanda, and mr carney were making fun of me during econ when i pulled it out. I WILL GO THROUGH THE WHOLE BOOK BY THIS FRIDAY NIGHT. rofl. probably not. but i can sure as hell try!

went to the just dance auditions. um. it was okay. actually, i don't know if i will continue with it for the rest of the year. i would really like to because i loveee dancing and i need something to keep me in shape! but idk. we'll see!

off to study moree.

"I'm done."

omg. today felt like such a long day. maybe it's because of our officer meetings. but yeah. i was asked for an update and i said that i was just done. it felt good. though. yeah. hahah.

today was sort of uplifting, though! had to do presentations of the cover design journals we did. just simple stuff like why you did what you did and stuff. and then. choose a journal that you feel is more successful than yours and why. mine, anna's, and caitlin's were chosen quite a few times (; hahha. when devin chose mine he, his reasoning was "just look at it!" LOL. hahaha. fun stuff. as in anna's blog, 4th period was just filled with giggles hahaha.

OH AND! the national fall leadership conference..i might be able to go! :DD i'm so excited. hahah. i'll room with linxi and otherss. well, if she is going. but yeah. la c said that depending on the weekend, she and her husband can definitely go because they have family in denver, co anyway. sooo. i'm exictedd! i still have to ask my parents though. i'll just use that $250 i got from nationals to help pay for this. and hey, maybe i can fundraise for it, too? (:

SATSATSATSAT! D:

"CALLED OUT, SON." jeez.

i can't take this anymore. this is completely ridiculous. i just want to go to college already, away from EVERYONE. for a new start, a new beginning. to make new friends, to create new, beautiful memories.

i'll get over it. the summer IS over. time to get on with my life, no? unfortunately, the one part i would like to shake off from my life--i will not be able to do until for some time. i'm just not mean like that.

this is where my trust issues come in. i have no idea who to believe. there is alwaysss room to cause doubt in my mind. and it sucks.


jeez, my heart feels like cement right now. it's just so heavy. i started off the day pretty badly. turns out, i had to turn in one of the three reflective essays she handed back to us to be graded. i didn't know that. and i honestly don't remember her assigning it to us. and supposedly, it was on the board. and the day that it was due. i was absent cause i was sick. when i went back to school, i got no reminders about turning in the essay. now she's doing me a favor about allowing me to turn it in for half credit. i have to get a perfect A on the fucking essay just to get AT LEAST 50/100 -________- how fucked up is that.

then. the SAT this saturday.

then. there are my trust issues.

then. there's the utter humiliation i just went through. thanks. -.-

then. there's the letting go part. & the sudden realization that people will never change.

then. getting as many speechers/debaters to compete in fbla this year. NOTHING CONFLICTS. i'm so happy. this year, ghs fbla WILL do well in sweepstakes!

sigh

so you know the 4.0 that i got. my parents are making a huge deal out of it. seriously. can't they just stop? and i'm not being modest here or whatever; i am genuinely annoyed of how big of a deal they are making it. it's like. they don't believe in me and suddenly i get this and they are just so freaking amazed. and i don't want them all hyped up on my straight As because it's only been like the first five weeks of school! when semester grades come out, then maybe i'll tolerate it but right now, no.

SATs this saturday. ugh. i must study. i plan to take 7 practice tests until saturday. two today and one each night this week. oh boy. wish me luck homeskillets.



oh, and can you please stop being an ass. and i'm just too hopeless because i still think you're cute.
ALLOW ME SOME CLOSURE PLEASE.

ROYAL BALL = CUTE WHITE GUYS♥

omg. hahaha. today was so much fun! so linxi was stuck in traffic--took her an hour and a half to get here! she ended up getting here at 7 instead of 6ish that we planned. but it was cool cause i just got my face ready, so when she got here, i just had to do her hair and change. then. dude. T.T we got LOST. HAHA. jeezz! stupid google maps gave us some pretty convoluted directions -___- so i called melissa. we left the house at 7:40 and got there like at...8:30 LOL. we made so many U-turns! we got in the longish line--we didn't have to wait too long so yeah. we got in and saw tiffany, lugill, and tara first. after me and linxi checked in our stuff, we just walked around a bit so i could find more ghs kids but barelyy! everyone was mostly scattered about haha.

at first, just me and linxi on the dance floor was kind of awkward because there was like no breathing room! we found a couple of guys to dance with but my guy wasn't very good -___- hahahah. then moved on and saw tanya and katherine! totally hung out with them for the rest of the night. it was fun looking for random guys to dance with hahaha. danced with this one white dude..-_____- i think he was on something. seriously. haha. then then linxi, tanya, and katherine disappeared! i was like wtf! so i left the guy to go look for them but it was completely futile. i went to the refreshments table and saw jhaimyy. then went to go look for the girls again, jeez. haha. i felt so weird just walking around by myself. but they found me (cause they saw me first haha). we did a lott of walking around, scouting for potential dance partners but fuuuhhck. most of the guys had their girls. which was to be expected but still.

so then it's like 9:45 and me and linxi had to go soon so we danced one last dancee. but this time! i actually found cute guys to dance with! buahaha. and since it was still kind of early, called up alex to make some plans. but me and linxi ended up taking a bunch of pictures outside and thereforee delaying the realization that none of us had money to pay for parking T.T and we couldn't validate it! so were like..let's just go ask money from people! hahahah. omg. i felt so humiliated. haha. but we didn't. just went back inside to see if we could borrow some money from whoever. took like tennn minutes just to find someone! jeez. ended up borrowing from edwin. THANKSS. omg. like seriously. i was almost stressing out and panicking about the parking money! i was really starting to lose hope and then BAM! i see edwin. when he pulled out that skinny wallet of his and took out a $10 bill i was like OMFG relieved! hahah. so that took up an hour and actually couldn't chill with alex. kinda sucks, i wanted to hang out more! but stupid linxi has some yard sale at 5:30 in morning -____- haha.

oh. and then. got lost again. LOL. yeah, i know right. i called melissa but she didn't pick up. then i called my cousin and we gott it. linxi came back to my house to change and i uploaded her picturess. i have to ps them! muahaha. not really, actually. i just looked at them, they're finee. but anyways. it's late. and i have a service tomorrow, too. i vill post up peekchurrs toomarrow! haha.

SO MANY CUTE CUTE WHITE GUYSS! the place was just swimming with delicious EYE CANDY! :D♥

omg it's 11:46 already >.>

got to go shopping with linxi today! my mother loves the dress and necklace that linxi helped pick out, haha! i should shop with her more often (:

so i'm ready and pumped for royal ball tomorrow night. time to get downn and dirrty (; buahaha.

LOL

my google adsense account has been disabled due to invalid clicking hahahahah. aw, i feel bad now. i told andrew he could have the monies.

the fbla meeting today was such a disaster! ): we started SO late! partly due to technical difficulties with the mic and sound system and that members came in late. and then there was the whole light issue, LOL. jeez. we were gonna show the national fbla recruitment video right after the introductions so i just wanted to make sure that mr edo could actually turn them off. when i asked him, he turned it off right away and couldn't turn it back on T.T so it was like that for about 5-10 minutes. then i think it was...bryant? who turned it back on? haha yeah. so we started like at 12:30! only 15 minutes for the actual meeting, poo. then we just decided to show the video at the end of the meeting but when we did, there were MORE problems. the screen was blank! at first i thought it was the projector but monica's laptop actually just turned off on me -____- and the sound system and stuff still wasn't working (although, edo only got it to work while we were cleaning up..AFTER the meeting >.>) so not everyone could hearr it. sigh. and then the stupid bleachers wouldn't go back in! jeez. hopefully tomorrow's returning members' meeting will run better.

going shopping for royal ball with linxi in a couple hours! yayy. i'm excited (: then then. royal ball TOMORROW.

oh oh, and i think i have an idea for his birthday. muahahaha. i just hope he likess it? actually, i have no idea what he likes. but i'll try to see. ILY!