ew, nastyy!

i started to do homework but then i got distracted. i ended up cleaning my bathroom instead, hahah. cause i really needed to do my laundry for a pair of clean khakis for tomorrow's meeting. anyway. i just HATE it when my toilet gets clogged. it's so annoying. it's not even because of anything. just randomly, *CLOG! -____- and i couldn't find the plunger cause my mom moved it from my bathroom so for like..4 days, i always had to walk allll the way over to my parents' room or downstairs to pee. but now it's fixed cause i found the plunger. then i ended up cleaning the basin, too, cause if linxi is coming over...ew! can't show her a dirty bathroom! it wasn't, like, gritty dirty just needed a little water splashing. it's allll good now! (:

and i want to buy a new dress! for royal ball. nothing too fancy. i also just want to use up my f21 store credit already haha.



DUDE. what the shit. i see her face EVERYWHERE. well, not really her face. but. similarities in other people remind me of her. ugh.

torture

club faire was okay. it wasn't thattt exciting. though i am excited about all the students who signed up! hopefully tomorrow's meeting will have a large attendance.

while i was entering in senior quotes, i came across one that i actually really like (not a famous person quote, though): "4 longs years, 3 hot summers, 2 thousand ten is upon us, and 1 fantastic future awaits us." haha (: i'll leave this an anonymous quote, lol.

and i'm starting to believe that jimmy (not chen) is really coming back. i don't know, maybe it's just me being a girl. but he's a free bird. and aqua bird is a lookin'.

i think i just need closure. closure from what? he would say. closure from everything together. i need him out of my head and out of my life. because this is torture. i know way more information than i should know. i know too much. and i wish i had the strength to just not look one day. i'm done with being an onlooker, it's time i became a participant. i'm talking the talk. but can i walk the walk?

RIDICULOUS

so for the first time in...i don't know how long, i went to sleep at 10 PM last night. amazing, right?! haha. but i just had to. i couldn't stand knowing what i newly discovered. it's ridiculous, it really is. i seriously cannot wait until royal ball because i really need to get my mind off this shit. but no matter how bad things seem to be getting, i just can't shake it off. it is constantly there.


i've been telling this to myself for a while but i actually haven't been able to do it, haven't been able to push myself to do it even though there's a great incentive. my parents keep getting on my case about stupid shit. i have to get out of this house. was talking to linxi last night, (although not for this specific reason) she says that i need to study my ass for the SAT/ACT too. i don't know why but for some reason, linxi's voice is getting through to my head more than my own. as long as a voice is getting through to me, the reason or voice doesn't matter. i just need to study study study. but. thanks linxi :)

anyways, i woke up early to catch up on all the homework that i'm behind on. f me. haha.

one-upped

crappy day. sort of. okay, half.

english was fun just cause we got to get into groups and discuss the seven deadly sins and virtues. it was fun trying to define the word "love." second period was just a drag because i hatee grading papers, seriously! but i loved econ period, played monopoly and holy crap hahah. when phat was the first one to have to mortgage his property because zach is such a fucking shark, i laughed so much. hahah fucking zach!! hahaha, dude. by the end of the game, he owned the first row after Go and three more places after that..all with HOTELS. jesus. anyways. i was the first to actually lose from the game, HAHA. ROP was chill and so was yearbook. and math was whatever. dude, i have so much homework to catch up on, shoooo. i'm behind one whole chapter's worth of trig! -______- hate it hate it. sigh. the fbla officer meeting after school was actually kind of fun.

club faire is tomorrow!

oh. and i realized. LDI is basically a conference, yes? oh, how tainted they have now become for me. i won't even be able to dance at LDI! i don't think i'm allowed, sigh.

oh, oh. here's my official senior quote :D
"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you need to look at my photo again?
(line break? hopefully, i can have a line break. if not, i guess it'll just be one single break)
Make fug-a-fug, not war :)(;"
hahah. it's not supposed to be conceited. i'm seriously just going for the funnies. i honestly don't think that about myself.

and i cannot waittt for royal ball! weeee, how exciting! i just want it to be friday already!

anywayss, it's when i got home that turned my day into complete crap. it's fucking ridiculous. i guess that kind of online stuff really does work, huh?

it's been kidnapped. can someone please rescue it?

four point oh

so, i checked my grades today. for the first time in my academic career, i am getting a 4.0. see, now, usually. i get about a 3.67 for the first progress report because math usually screws me over somehow. but i've conquered it this time. too bad this isn't my junior year, lolll. for ROP, i basically have the highest grade in the class. i say basically because the other two who are ahead of me joined the class late so they didn't have to do the first assignment or two--which were kind of hardd. so, ha. (: i SHOULD have the highest grade, shooooo. 97.72--that shit's going up as we get more projects, man! english--easy pie for now. this is the only class that i'm worried about maintaining an A. TA--no worries. econ--no worries. math--no worries. yearbook--might be a little sketchy since i haven't turned in what i was supposed to because i was out for three days last week. but hopefully, A. so yup. i'm not happy, i'm just satisfied. because really, my classes aren't very difficult at the moment.

the freshmen presentations went wellllll. (: i'm really hoping that we get a lot of new members! i seriously love fbla. i was just talking to linxi about it last night--i have absolutely no idea what high school would've been like without it. seriously. i made most of my friends through it.

oh, today. i got all my college stuff. i filled out my brag sheet--it's so lopsided. hahaha. cause i've got a bunch of school activities, no community activities since i was so heavily involved with speech and am still heavily involved in fbla. then i've got awards and stuff but no school awards--except for soaring eagles, i guess. and then the other misc stuff. you know, even for my insecurities with my stats/numbers, i am feeling pretty confident about syracuse u and c of w&m. i'm a little sketchy about bu but we'll see what happens. &honestly, i do not want to go to any UCs or CSUs so i'm not going to pay as much attention to them. andd. i SO need to do well on sat/acts. jeez. i'm actually really starting to get into all this college app stuff. it may be stressful but i like the whole filling out applications and things. i think it's kind of fun. and then when you write a really nice personal statement, great feeling. then when you get it peer edited and it gets even better, woww. totally boosts up the confidence levels. of course i'll be really crushed if i get rejected but hey, that's life, right?

my senior quote: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do you need to look at my photo again?
TEHEE. i'm not sure if i should add "jkk. "A candle loses nothing by lighting another."
oh, and today, MACK was reunited (:
&so was aquabird and pebble :D
haha. i'm beginning to love senior year :)

SO EXCITED

haha, so linxi practically begged me to take her to royal ball and she didn't have so much fun at her homecoming so i'm gonna take her. and it's the perfecttt chance to finally hang out with her again! i miss her a lot :) but damnnn. we're gonna have FUNN. muahah hit on all the college boys that'll be there (; teheee. hahah, ahh! i'm so excitedd! i originally WAS going to take a guy but really, all the guys who i thought i could ask just wouldn't work out. partly because anna's not going, that bitch. hahah. i COULD take anna but i see her everyday whereas i've only seen linxi once since summit. sorry, annaa ): but yeah. me and linxi are gonna go shopping, me for a dress, her for some jewelery. normally, i wouldn't buy a new dress just for this but i really don't have a dress worthy of such a dance called the Royal Ball.

i have to go to school tomorrow. MACK will be reunited! well, unless chrisel isn't there ): i have so much homework to catch up on! and oh jeez. i'm so behind in ROP. sadface. i must finish the design journal cover. musttt. oh! and we have freshmen recruitment stuff going on tomorrow! i'm excited. haha. for fbla, we're going to freshmen seminar/healthsafety classes and presenting. this is gonna be fun since i can finally wear my section uniformm! :D i will definitely be taking pictures (:

and hopefully i'll be able to get my aa jacket tomorrow. i ordered mermaid green. i'm hoping it'll look good on me. haha.

fuck off, already

my parents are such a mood killer. seriously.

my mom texts me saying to call my grandma to wish her happy birthday. so i call, my mom picks up the phone, i cough a little, and then she's all "see, you're coughing again," it's like, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY WOMAN. coughing just doesn't disappear over the fucking night -.-

then i go down to get some food. i brought it up to my room and my dad fucking shits his pants. then goes on about how it's "not healthy" how i stay in my room "all day." i do not stay in my room all day. he's such a fucking retard. i DO go downstairs and shit. and THEN, he has the fucking nerves to be all "you can't do your homework in your room anymore" IT'S LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I CAN'T WORK DOWNSTAIRS, THERE ARE TOO MANY FUCKING DISTRACTIONS LIKE YOU, YOU FUCKING SHIT. and i continue on about how i can't work in super huge spaces like the downstairs because there are just TOO MANY THINGS. it's like..THERE'S A FUCKING REASON WHY KIM (sister) WAS ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING BACK ROOM, YOU FUCKING ASS. OH and what the SHIT, ANDREW NEVER FUCKING STUDIED DOWNSTAIRS. -__________-

they say it's the kids who think they know everything and think they don't have anything to learn from their parents. well guess the fuck what. THE PARENTS ARE WORSE. fucking shits.

when i'm finally out of this house next year, and i promise you that i will be, i will not miss my parents at all. i can guarantee you that.

truth be told, i miss you

and truth be told, I'M LYING (;

today was sooo much fun! today was our OAT Day! :D it went pretty well. 120 members! AWESOME. haha. and i believe my workshops went pretty well. everyone was taking notes! and FBLA JEOPARDY. oh man, it was fun being the "host" (: i had to ask eric on a lot of the questions cause they weren't in true jeopardy format but it was still fun. i was actually afraid that the jeopardy game wouldn't go too well but the members actually got reallyyy into it! i loved their enthusiasm and their competitive spirit! AND. my freaking jeopardy board was like..BEAUTIFUL. i will upload pictures on both facebook and wefridge later. haha.

but today was so freaking hot. just standing in the sun and i was sweating like a pig. on the plus side, there was a LOT of left over food and i brought home like a full tray of marinara pasta, salad, and some garlic bread. yuummmmm. actually, i couldn't even eat that much today, i'm still sick. haha.

oh, oh, and THENN. when we had a post oat day mini meeting with the section team, our co-directors gave us Jamba Juice giftcards! how cute is that.

and i've totally missed my section teamm♥. it's so fun being with them, it's like another family! haha. oh and i made a few new friendsss today! wait, no. i think it's just one friend. i didn't really have time to talk to a lot of the fellow chapter officers >.> i'll meet them somehow, haha.

then melissa came over cause the freaking girl forgot to bring her phone charger when she came back home from school, haha. it's cool, got to play catch up with her (:

and you know what i'm realizing, i'm basically having like..a FIVE day weekend! hahah. because i was gone for most of wedesday, then all of thursday and friday. oh, anna must miss me so. hahah. and i am sooo behind on ROP ):

peace, i'm out.

dude, seriously

okay one. i just read someone status about how trying to "run" for a senior best of is so pathetic. dude. it is. especially since at our school, there's like no system. like you watch how on tv, "She's All That," "Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior Princess," and "Princess Protection Program," (i can only remember mostly disney rofl) how those girls are campaigning to get queen. that is not how it works at ghs at allll. seriously. i'm not naming any names but when you have to TELL people to vote for you in something that doesn't involve legitimate politics, it's so lame. and. it's kind of desperate, too. not to mention a tainted win if you actually win.

and dude seriously, what the hell is wrong with monogamy these days? keep that shit in your pants -.-

bye, bye fever!

i still have the flu, though. i think. haha. my dad gave me an ibuprofen pill or something but it actually didn't help much. but once my mom gave me this chinese medicine cough syrup thing, it was gone like that! dude, i've been taking that medicine since i was a childdd man! that shiz is good. rofl. it's not one of those fruit-flavored good but like a minty one. so yeah, she gave me a soup spoon full and i licked it clean, LOL. seriously, no more headache and no more fever! it's down to just coughing, sneezing, and a stuffy nose now haha.

but now i have too much time on my hands! well, i've always had too much time on my hands--you can tell by how many times i've blogged in the past couple days, rofl.

the only thing i like about being sick is that i have noooooo appetite. i only eat a little for the sake of getting something in my stomach but otherwise, i just wouldn't be able to stomach anything down. and you're not supposed to eat solids when you have a fever anyway. let's see..since wednesday morning, i've eaten: toasted bread turkey sandwich (just bread and one slice of turkey) and apple for breakfast, a small bowl of rice and pork for lunch, and one of those mini microwave pizzas for dinner--that was wednesday. thursday: watermelon, couple bites of flan (ahh, FLAN!<3), and a slice of bread. today, just a slice of bread so far. my fever's gone but i still don't feel hungry. i remember last time i was really sick, once i ate something, i got stomach pains.

speaking of..FLAN. oh my, i love me my flan! hahah. my mom buys the powder mixes, she just adds egg and stuff and BAM. flan. vanilla flavor, i think. i suggested it as a fundraiser idea for fbla but our adviser said that not too many people have a taste for flan but..it's actually quite good. like, i don't think it takes much to have a taste for flan. i think we should still do it. hey, maybe one day, i'll bring some flan to an officer meeting! haha. it'll be myyy treat and everyone will see how delicious they are, rofl.

oh, oh. you know what i just LOVE about my cell phone? the nokia 6301. well, i think this goes for pretty much any nokia phone so i guess just nokia in general. they have a program for the computer called "Nokia PC Suite." just connect your phone to the computer (usb cable) and you can practically operate your phone from the computer! well, as far as text messaging and phone calls go, haha. like when i had NOOO internet and i had to turn in a paper to turnitin.com, i connected my phone to the computer, copied and pasted my essay into a text message (oh, btw, thank GOD for picture text messages!) and texted to my friend's e-mail and he turned it in for me. then then, since i couldn't go to school yesterday and today, i needed to send my group some project information--like number information. so i just hooked it up, and typed the text. so easy. oh, so easy. haha. DUDE. i can even operate my email from my phone. i freaking love unlimited text and picture text messaging!

well anyways, i must go and do nothing..haha. royal court e-mails! didn't get one! loll. it's kay. i wonder if anyone from our school got one though, hm..

talk to me

i'm getting worse ): and what sucks is that i'm not taking any meds to make me drowsy..I'M SO BORED! my head hurts too much to actually do any homework or sat/act studying. there's nothing ever good on TV during the day time and there is no oneee to talk to! well. i COULD be talking to someone. well, at least i want to be talking to someone. sigh. i have no idea what the hell i'm going to be doing tomorrow since i can't go to school. i don't even think i can go back to school during 6th period for this thing with Ramona Convent FBLA. AH!

my mother is so completely annoying. i swear. my dad, too. i just want to get OUT of the house already! my mom keeps moving my shit all around, wth! whenever she cleans my room, I JUST HATE IT. 'cause i never know where anything is anymore! i can't even find my officer polo! wth! my mom, actually, isn't one of those "i'll support you in whatever you decide to do as long as it's not something bad." -__________- ugh. i get so fed up with her. like, yeah, i feel kind of guilty because i can be a real brat to her but..COME THE FREAK ON! i can't help but act that way with her! anyone who meets her will think she's nice and stuff and that's because she has good hospitality but jeeezzz..living with her! don't get me wrong, i love my mom, i love both my parents. but that doesn't necessarily mean that i like them all the time. i really don't like bonding with my parents.

senior quotes are due tomorrow and i won't be at school >.> i already missed senior best ofs! well i'm in yearbook anyway so it's okay. but yeah. i don't know what to do for my senior quote. should i use some really cliched quote? or use a famous person quote that is cliched in the fact that it's a famous person quote. i remember in sophomore year, when i was in cross country, this one afternoon after a run. just chillin on the fake grass of our football field and i started asking some guys..questions. hahha. "I'm ready." how's that for a senior quote? rofl. i remember actually saying that i would use it. but i don't knoww. or maybe i could use a pick up line or something, haha. or how about "Let's run away and never come back." or maybe something with the Naked joke! haha. idkk yet.

how sickly

omfg, i am so sick. not like 102 degree fever sick but like..long period of time sick. ughh! i have a stuffy nose when i lie down, runny nose when i'm up, coughing and sneezing, my back hurts like little bitch, have a freaking headache, and just ahhhh! i probably won't go to school tomorrow, i have to get better for OAT Day! the only thing i'm worried about is that i'm missing so many classes of ROP! ): I CANNOT BE BEHIND THE CLASS! i'm always ahead! and i want to stay ahead! it's actually kind of fun. because when i finish too early, ms hopper will just tell me to work on my own because she doesn't want me too ahead of the class muahha. i love free periods. haha. i actually don't mind going to school now..maybe it's because my classes aren't very hardcore? lol.

today, i was watching Gilmore Girls and i never realized how clever their jokes are! haha. well, idk if clever is the right word for it but they are pretty subtle. I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY'S DAISYY! lord knows i've had one of my own, haha. i probably have another one right now.

ohhh my, i believe progress reports come out tomorrow? I BETTER HAVE A 4.0.
toodles.

you give me fever

literally. shhhit.

sometimes i really hate the internet. and social networks. it's like what the fuck, they make our lives more difficult than it needs to be. so much dramaaa. anyways. royal court e-mails come out in two dayss. i'll be waiting to not receive mine. haha. not being negative or pessimistic. just being realistic. it really would have been great to become at least a quarter finalist, though! honestly, i really don't want to be part of the court because that is a LOT of time off from school--way more than i can afford. i can only miss so many ROP classes! and i am really diggin the class. i loveee graphic design! it's a shame that w&m doesn't offer a graphic design major but i hear their marketing program is pretty good? jeez. i'm so nervous about college apps. i'm also going to apply to syracuse--they have commercial/advertising art! that is definitely something i'm excited for. and i'm considering a couple other colleges, too. but shiiit. i'm nervous. haha. honestly, IF i got into both (which, i think, would be a fucking miracle), i'd go to syracuse. new york is an expensive place to live in but i think it'll all work out. but anyway, i'm getting ahead of myself. i still need to take the sats and the act. talk about the senior life.



it's just not enough that i let you hold it, huh?

sick

sooo..this morning, i had the hardest time waking up. like, even taking a shower didn't completely wake me up. i felt pretty shitty. i even had a moment's hesitation to just ask my parents if i can stay home because i felt sick and shit. but unless i was seriouslyyy sick and not just some cough and a headache, they won't allow it -.- so i went to first period, i felt kind of fine, but then i went to second period i was just so ughhh. went to the nurses office and i saw chrisel theree. she wasn't feeling well either. talk about flu season, hahah. but yeah. nurse said i had a temp of 100.8 so i had to go home. and it's kind of funny because she also said that i couldn't come to school tomorrow, like, not even to try to come to school tomorrow because they're just going to send me home again, haha. damn, if only i'd been sent home tomorrow, 4 day weekend! lolll. but not it's weird because when i got home and used my thermometer, said barely 99.6. which i guess is close but still. anyways, my parents always find it such a dragg when i get sick -__- i think this is like the third time this calendar year that i had to call home. my dad is kind of whatever about it because it's my mom who takes care of me. the FIRST time i got sent home..whew. i reallyyy had the fever, then. had a headache that hurt so much i cried, my back was aching like a little bitch, and i couldn't stomach much food--all i could take were chewy bars >.> actually, i shouldn't be saying that "i had a fever" since having a fever is just a symptom for something else. i guess i had the body flu? idk. then i just get random fevers like the second time and today, haha.

just not enough

all of a sudden, i'm feeling cheated and robbed. cheated because i feel like i give and i give and the returns are never as meaningful are given with enough heart. robbed because i feel like i've been wasting my time with anyone and anything that i has cheated me. this isn't the first time i've felt this way. these are more like realizations. i'll suddenly realize that i'm being taken for granted or i'm not appreciated enough or i'm just not as important to those who i find important to me. and then. i'll go my ignorant way and continue on this life of unfulfillment. then it happens all over again, giving me grief.

i may be overreacting but, honestly, it's who i am. i take things personally. but i get over them easily enough--that's the only upside about all of this.

senior year is a drag. i just want to get the hell out of this state already--away from all my family and friends. i need a new change in scenery, new people to surround myself with, and just a new damned life.

STOP, just STOP. can you do that?

today was pretty chilllll. highlight of my day was most likely yearbook period and Kim Ky Noodle House with Kara after the officer meeting! haha. it's funny because Kara and I were supposed to go to kknh yesterday so i could get a picture of it for yearbook but she was too sick to even go to school, lameee. haha. jk. so we went today and we set it for 4:30 cause of the officer meeting. i reallyyyy didn't want to make Kara wait so i totally made sure we didn't go off on tangents too many times during the meeting and we adjourned at freaking 3:56! that's a record, right there! rofl. so then i called her but she didn't pick up. then i kept calling her and calling her. i called her like TEN FREAKING TIMES and she didn't pick up. then she called me back..and i had the wrong number, LOL. i was like "oh, sorry, i think i have the wrong number!" and the guy was like "yeah..i think you do." hahah. oh how funnies. well, anyway. we got to kim ky and it was funnn! we're like SISTERS♥ we're practically family anyway, haha. cheng/chang, same thing!

dude, so i got home at 6 then i think i just crashed for bit. but then, when i woke up at 8, i don't think i realized that i was waking up from a nap hahha. i just woke up, went to my laptop and i was thinking...wait, did i just take a nap? o.o" hahah.

oh and i should note, the subject line isn't always going to match the content of the blog, haha (: it'll be kind of like a current status/mood thing.

NEW

okayy so i have converted from xanga to blogspot! haha. i think blogging will be good for me though i don't know how many people will even actually read this stuff so yeah. i'll TRY to blog about really interesting topics but most likely, i'll end up blogging about my day/problems. we'll see! haha.

so YESTERDAY, i had such a longgg day! and the fact that i got no sleep the night before did not help at all -__- i was supposed to make this jeopardy board for FBLA OAT Day and have it ready to present at the section meeting for Saturday but i totally procrastinated. and turns out. i didn't even NEED the fucking board! only the questions! what the shit! because i also had royal court tryouts! sooo lame. but yeah.

SPEAKING OF. royal court tryouts. damn. i was wishfully thinking that i may actually make it past the initial interview. but alas, it's all WISHFUL thinking, of course. i totally bombed my 15 section interview! i'm kind of bummed but whatever. because, like, HOW COOL would it be to actually be part of the fucking ROYAL COURT? get a bunch of free make up, clothes, shoes, have a freaking chauffeur (transportation is taken care of to and from related events when you're part of the court), interviews, photoshoots, getting your hair&makeup done professionallyy, dining and hanging out with football players..what a life! you would have to skip a BUNCH of school though--which is something that i actually don't want to do. haha. i'm taking an ROP class during school so there are only so many hours (periods/days) that i can skip! so i'm kind of bummed but it's okay. we got our pictures professionally taken, though! with a bouquet of roses and everything. here's my picturee. then we toured the house and got our free royal ball tickets! oh, i'm so excited for royal ball! haha (=

then after royal court tryouts, had a section officer meeting at gab--i was an hour late T.T but it's okay. they didn't punish me for it. haha. since there was also icebreaker speech tourn that day, i got SPEECH FOOD OM NOM NOM. i love speech food! esp gab speech food! well, maybe only gab speech food because it's so cheap! i love it! sigh. i really miss speech. like. really. of course i don't miss the stress of it all but i miss the people and the tournaments. oh god, i do miss the tournaments. how everyone is so dressed and how we're all sitting around and talking during the down time. AH! def, def loved speech! debate was fun, too. haha.

well anyways, i got back, took a 4 hour nap? can't remember how long. then knocked out again at 10:30. haven't went to sleep that early in such a long time! i got a niceee 12 hour sleep! f yeah! haha. that's itt for noww. don't know how often i'll blog but there ya go (=