It's Tiresome

I am trying so hard to not make it about me. Because it's not. But I can't help the way I feel. I can't help my current personal life situation. I can't help the way things are playing out. I feel like there's nobody there from where I used to be. The old clan. Where are they? They're there but they are not really there. I see them but they don't see me. This tires me over and over again and I continue to take it. It's my fault, too, though. Like how I answered one of my formspring questions: my biggest insecurity are my people skills. They travel up and down the spectrum way too often and not at the most desired moments.

What were to happen if I suddenly just disappeared? Me and my whole family? Just picked up our things and moved out without a single word to friends or family? Not even any hints or goodbyes? Would chaos ensue? Would resentment grow because of the inconvenience it may cause for them? Will hearts break at the most dangerous thought about the reasoning of such a disappearance? Or, will indifference take the place of the hollow feelings of love and friendship once stored? Will the lives that we used to affect continue as normal? Will we have left no footprints, no significance, with those we mingled with?

I can smell my mother's delicious cooking. I must go and pounce on the feast.