he's cute. :)

went "black friday" shopping yesterday with my cousin. it was more normal shopping though--the things i got were just generally cheap. lols. let's see, i got some victoria's secret underwear--which i really wished that i had gone to gilly hicks instead because their stuff is more my style--, BOOTS, gilly hicks pj shorts, oh! perfume from VS also, lols. i got the "stocking stuffer" cause i just want to test it out and stuff.

aren't the boots cuuute? i got it at cali for $29. then when i went to urban street, it was $40! hell yesss!

jeez, we only got there at 7:30 and left around 12. i was exhuasteddd. lolss. cause i was talking to sam until like..4 AM and woke up at 6 to shower. got back, and totally KTFO.

up until today, i've been lagging personal statements. T.T. until amyy came today and whipped me into shape! haha not really. she helped me with the speech i'm gonna do for W&M and then started helping me on my ps. thenn, since i wanted to chill with cody today, when he offered to help me with my PS, i told him to come over, too. amy left a little after cody left but i GOT IT DONE. like, i already had UC #2 prompt done so i really just needed my first essay.

today feels like sunday. thank god it's not.

GHS '10 boys..-_______-

WOW. ridiculous. grow the fuck up.

I am 17.

and i actually FEEL 17! maybe it's because this time, i can actually use my age for something. haha. like watching rated r movies! hehe.

i got my phone taken away in the morning. sigh. it was such a...painful experience ); NOO, MY PHONE! but i got it back, of course. english teacher saw me out with it and i told her it was cause my mom was texting me. she took it anyway. and then she actually called my mom to see if she was actually texting me. wow. -______-.

spent a lot of time with tiffany hung! hehehe. i miss her! we talked a lottt. and apparently, i have the pretty-slutty look. and bitch-intimidating look. like, when my face is neutral or i'm just not doing anything. ayee.

after school, saw nicole hsu and maggiee! finally got my phone back and was bamboozled (correct usage of word? dunno. who cares. hehe) with a bunch of happy birthday text messages. haha (: and about 100+ facebook emails that people have written on my walls. many from people whom i don't speak to anymore but it's nice that they still wished me happy birthday!

stupid bitch, anna was absent today ):

and maggie's birthday card..SOOO CUTEE. i love it♥ i wouldn't trade it for anything! haha. ILHER. then then. dinner at wood ranch! HEHE THE WAITER DANIEL WAS SO FUCKING CUTEE! omg. i think i was high off the fact that patty and jessica and maggie and nicole were all there for my birthday that i was like flirting with him. hahah. omg. he's soooo cute. when they told him it was my birthday towards the end of dinner, they were like "you should sing for her!" and he was like "i'll sing and dance!" or something. and then when he was clearing our table, he said something like "i've got moves" and i was sitting all the way on the inside and i was like "and we'd like to see them" HAHAHA, OH MYY ♥. seriously. soooo cute. sigh. i love wood ranch! hehe. oh and nicole and maggie got me the cuuttesttt gift, ever! it's the donettes and kitkat bar and the wonder sandwich case! THEY ALL MAKE PERFECT SENSE. i lovee them! hehe. i had a lottt of laughs that night ♥

got back like around 9:30ish. talked to linxi while leaving from wood ranch. and talked to sam later at night. and i responded to all my facebook birthday wishes. damn, that took a long time! haha. i absolutely love how so many of the section officers wished me happy birthday ♥ hehe.

the day started out bittersweet. because i didn't think i was actually doing to do anything for my birthday but i did! today is CHRISEL'S BIRTHDAYY. she's such a sweetie! hehe.

oh, and supposedly a lot of facebook shit went down between fbla gab & troy girls. jeez. haha. i missed the "show" but that's okay.

i really miss my birthday.

LDI, OH MYY.

LDI SOUTHH! hehe, it was FUN. got there friday night but THE BUS LEFT US D; so we couldn't go to BJ's for chapter dinner! we went to Harvard Place instead--i just bought junk food and ate that for dinner. rofl. when we got back, we settled in for a bit and ate, then me and maggie went to go help with registration stuff. we got back, and nicole and cecilia weren't there! haha. they went to the pool and stuff and we went down to them. but ohh my, WE HAD FUN IN THE HOTELL ROOOMM! hahahaha. we played the burping game, ahh ferlisha's game lives on! speaking of. i must go to dinner with her soon.

anyways. friday night was superrr fun. esp since CATHY MAK VISTED ♥ saturday morning, i was all excited to be reunited with section officers! yayy! hehe! i missed everyone! and we all looked so fucking dope in our section officer uniformss, esp when we took a group picture! hehe. how pro. went to workshops and then MY workshop. jeez. hahaha. i was a little unprepared but i'd say that the attendees had fun when i messed with people's pictures. RAYMOND LEE SAID THE WORKSHOP WORKED! hahah. so GOOD. hehe. and then i went to alex's art of body language workshop..LOL. it was good. esp the whole him and brian trinh's preening. rofl. funny shit. and a little hot? LOL. hehe.

omg..I WANT ME AN A457 SANDWICH! HAHA. (;

the day went on and ended up having dinner with the roommates + samuel at corner's bakery. we introduced him to the burping game. and a few others. ahaha. i was like "WE SHOULD INTRO IT TO THE SECTION OFFICERS, GET A GAME GOING ON!" hahah ohh man.

grand prix was okay! didn't go to the salsa dancing but i went to the MOD one after. they wouldn't turn off the lights, they kept turning it off and on, off and on. they finally learned how to further dim the lights and yeah. i dancedd a bit all around..MEANING, i danced with gab peoples and section officers. it was some cute fun!

at night..oh man. hahah. i was soo exhausted! oh oh, CATHY MAK, MELISSA CAO, AND KAREN THAI VISISTEDD! HEHE! i miss those girls! before cathy came, i was like.. first conference without melissa and cathy! but then after they all visited saturday night, i realized that if they just visit again at state (since it's in irvine, again) THEN THERE WILL HAVE NEVER BEEN A CONFERENCE WITHOUT THEM! hehe. then later at night, was talking to samuel on the phone, i fell asleep a couple times on him. and supposedly, i say funny shit when i start to fall asleep. rofl! hahah.

sunday..closing session! aw ); actually, i think thatt was when we took the section officer photo. yup. good food. say goodbyes ): haha not really but yeah. i miss everyone already! anyways, our chapter ended LDI on a..weird note. but yeah..

chill

i'm sorry, she may be my friend but the other one is not. they are both pathetic for doing what they did -.- and they have the balls to talk smack! -_____- slutslut!

today, i got green butcher paper for a "green screen" for my LDI workshop. i am slightly excited. haha. i just tried it out and it was soo much easier to create and ipod silhouette! hehe. yup, that's me! a super photoshopped version, that is. because i am not that skinny. i wish i was! haha. i didn't add an "iwhatever" thing to it, though.

LDI is only in 3 days! holy crap! i'm so excited (8

let's fall asleep & never wake up

I just realized that I don't blog as frequently anymore. I think I just get lazy. lawlz.

today wasn't a good day. our FBLA membership meeting for american enterprise day went fine but eesh, she totally ripped into me today. I get that I am supposed to be a leader and I should be more responsible than I am right now and that I should take whatever she throws at me and just deal with it. but I can't help it, it doesn't even feel like constructive criticism. she acts too much like a mother sometimes because the stuff that comes out of her mouth feels like scolding--and that, in turn, makes me feel like crap. what can i say? i'm a super sensitive girl! (but i can be tough, too!)

i really don't believe in myself. and it kind of hurts that i don't believe in myself. wow, that sounds so ridiculous.

i had an interview for Syracuse U this week. i felt that it started off badly but it picked up towards the end. my dad was doing something completely and utterly stupid to me while driving me to the SU LA office. yelling at me. jeez, great way to keep me calm and relaxed for my COLLEGE interview! bad parenting skills right there. -________-

today is To Write Love On Her Arms day, and i wrote love on only myy arm. haha. as you can tell (:

i'm feeling really shitty right now. going to sleep it away.

Thank You.

every single instance where i am excluded, ignored, looked over, underestimated, not given a second look..it's like a punch in the gut.

it's never me. i'm never The Girl. i'm barely The Friend. i'm just..there. who happens to talk and share personal stories a lot. there isn't something i want to just be.

i'm not beautiful. i'm not hot. i'm not cute. i may have my moments just like every other person out there, but. i'm just Not. am i insecure? sure. am i confident? i can be; i have those moments as well.

when 8th grade ended, i was glad to be entering a new district with new people. i wanted a fresh start. i wanted to start over. i could have been anybody i wanted to be and nobody would have ever known. except, now i realize that i wasn't mature enough to have started over. i wasn't in tact with myself in order to actually change it. but now that high school is ending. well, hopefully i get to attend an OOS school where i can rid myself of EVERYTHING that high school came with. that includes the drama. and the people.

early in the 2009 year, i didn't want to live. i didn't care about all the people around who supposedly loved and care for me. i wasn't being a coward because i felt that life was too hard to live. i simply just didn't care. i became apathetic towards life. and i felt i was just wasting my time living it. that's why i didn't care to live any longer.

right now, i am having similar feelings about high school. all those people who supposedly love me and care for me..who am i kidding? not enough has been proven/shown to me to alter my perspective at the moment.

to all of my friends, thank you for not trying. thank you for excluding me from events that i eventually find out about. thank you for not making me a part of your life by withholding personal information. thank you for being my friend. thank you for preventing me from being your friend. from being a true friend.

thank you for allowing me to feel this way.

thank you for the Nothing you have given me.

dance, dance

homecoming dance...was okay. the music sucked. i think homecoming was only truly fun for me sophomore year. haha. anyways. when alex and i went to go take pictures, it was the same guy from senior portraits, he remembered my name! lol. we dancedd. and dancedd. alex was sick so we a took breaks. it was so cold outside! then like at ten, we left to go eat with kenny, simon, thomas, raymond, sally, harmon, and monet at noodle world. it was funn. but totally f me cause my dad was like "you can't go anywhere after the dance" and like i got a text from my dad "in the parking lot" i was like WHATTHESHIT. i told my mom 12! -________- sigh. so yeah, i barely checked my phone 15 minutes after he texted me. so i was totally panicking on the way back. i just told my dad that i was helping with the clean up, haha. so. that was my last homecoming. siiiigh.

♔♚♛♕♛♚♔

today was seniors' day! the senior class council did a pretty great job of decorating the quad & senior quad!
damn, just look at that burger! haha. and here's what i wore for seniors'/theme day! ;)
don't you lovee it? haha. made it myself. i wonder if could sell these..? hm. lols. anyways. today's senior say what performances were pretty epic. best say what, ever! it was such a GREAT line up! i'm uploading videos to youtube as we speak. tomorrow's class color day and the say what finalss. i'm excited haha. then homecoming dance. this week is almost coming to a close. sigh. last homecoming week! anyways. i'm so tired.

West Coast Friendship

today was a semi-good day. i don't know how to describe it, really. i guess...average? yeah.

sophomores' Say What Karaoke today. it was so lame. haha. the Wonder Boys were cute. i recorded them on my nano :) i'll post it later. but dude. every single time i'm sitting out in the quad, watching Say What, this always happens to me. haha. that's a close up of my bra strap tan, hahaha. isn't it kind of gross? ♥

also got senior class shirts and our CROWNSSS. i want to mail mine to karen thai so she can make it be-you-tifulll (: tehee. haha. maybe i'll just ask her to design something on paper for me, and then i'll try to copy it myself, loll.

tonight, i'm gonna make and expos board for englishh class. just like old times.

it's the last homecoming week i'll ever experience. let it be a blastt.

♫ I bought a one-way ticket, cause I knew I'd never see the ground unless I aboard a jet plane.