18

Kind of a lot happened for my 18th birthday. Monday night - I had fun :) Tuesday night - I had fun :) That's really all there is to know, I suppose.

I'm tired and cold.

I'm irritated.


Thanks.

Withdrawn

Since the start of the year, I was all about meeting new people, making new friends, and really fostering friendships with my floormates. Now, I just don't care. I don't care not because I don't care to be their friend anymore, I don't care because..I just don't have the energy. I'll hear them laughing and having a good time in the hallway and I'll think to myself "that's nice, but I don't necessarily need to be a part of it." I guess you can say I've grown apathetic to the people around me. Keeping to myself. Getting drunk doesn't even appeal to me anymore. The fact that alcohol is loaded with calories doesn't help either.

Within the past two weeks, I've discovered that drinking doesn't help "solve" any of my problems nor does it make me feel even an ounce better about whatever it is that I'm upset about. The want to drink doesn't dull the pangs of odd feelings in my chest. I'll feel this void and I know that drinking won't fill it. I wish it did, though.

Leaving me to my own devices is not good. I think way too fucking much and that just gets me super fucking moody. I need to be occupied. Distracted. But there's no one here who I feel can help me do that. '




Douchebags.

Sanity is Overrated

Can't live with them, can't live without them. Right?

Ha.

PT5K & Chipotle

Thisss past weekend was the Pacific Meets The Delta Swing Speech & Debate Tournament. Placed first in novice prose at the Mustang (Delta) Invitational and fourth at the Paul Winters (Pacific) Invitational. I think it's interesting to think about how in IEs, it's not only about how talented you are but what kind of judge you get. In debate, judges base decisions on strategies used and flows and such. I'm assuming. IEs, it's really if the judge likes your style. Either way, the competitor who won PW nprose, I respect her. She's cool.

As for the debate portion of the PW invitational, got 2nd place :) Did NOT expect to get this far. POWER TEAM 5000! haha. Don't know why or even how we got that name but I'm diggin' it. We even placed in novice duo at PW, too. loll. Now, we are an open team. I am not looking forward to next semester. We're gonna get devastated. Dammit.

Chipotle isn't that good anymore. I don't know why. Maybe it was just this instance.

I am awfully sentimental.

Halloween & High Schoolers

This past weekend was the John Schamber High School Invitational speech and debate tournament. When I saw the first high schooler around campus, I sniggered. I don't know why but I just thought it was super fucking funny - to see high schoolers on this campus. I used to be a high schooler. Hell, I could still be one! I am only 17 still. lol.

Helping out with the tournament included checking in PS student-judges in, ballot-stuffing, and opening doors open to locked-from-the-outside buildings for the competitors -______- I wasn't that bad. First I was at Weber Hall Friday night swiping people in and then I just stayed inside the building and just opened the door for whenever. Then on Saturday, I was all over the place, really. Stationed at the education building and then the biology building..haha, that was my favorite. At the bio building, I just got a chair and sat down in front of the handicap push-to-open button. So whenever I saw someone about to come in, I'd lean my head back to push the button and boom, the doors would open like magic. :) The bio building is quite nice. And then I was back at Weber Hall and then Sunday I was WPC. I've gotten so many "wow, your job sucks" and "aren't you having fun" and "do you have to do this all day?" comments. I didn't mind though, it kept the job somewhat entertaining.

Morgan and I got to be the trophy girls. Haha. We handed out the awards to the competitors as Marlin announced them. Damn high schoolers, THEY DON'T STEP FORWARD FOR THEIR AWARD. How the fuck are we supposed to know who to give it to? Some school was bitchin afterwards about how I passed them like 3 times and didn't give them there award. It was funny though, cause Steve was like "if you want your award, no lip." And then their coach got all pissed and Steve was just irritated. It was very lulz.

Friday night, partied at Emma's apartment. I just went in my toga from the toga party. It was fun :) But then had to be at Grace Covell for the tournament by 7:15 - though it wasn't that bad for me because I passed out, like, by 1 AM. ha ha.

Saturday night, went to Sigma Chi's Halloween Bash at the UC. We were there for maybe..20 mins? 30? Before it got stopped because something happened where they had to call 911. It was chill though. And then just did whatever until like 3ish. And stillll had to be at the tournament by 7:15. 2 hours of sleep, man. When I got back to my room, I just KTFO at 6, woke up at 10:20, went back to sleep at 10:30, and woke up at 7:10 for class this morning. Sweet deal, huh? :)

Now, there's the collegiate tournament that we're hosting this weekend that we need to get ready for. Fuck.